Author Archives: ismellcakesandcandy

Day 15 – daylight or destruction? Or both?

My job has apparently officially let me go – I knew the moment was coming – and I know I can’t work – but was hoping it would wait out until at least my appointment with the neurosurgeon.  Something the company could have done – considering I’ve been on medical leave.  Kind of need theContinue reading “Day 15 – daylight or destruction? Or both?”

Day 13 – Hope or Hype – either way I got to keep pushing forward

My mood is finally stabilizing – and not just on the surface, internally.  I’ve began to speak up when I can feel my anxiety rising – and when I’m uncomfortable I have began the methods taught to me about grounding myself.  All these attempts to cope with this deep healing stage.  A thing I haveContinue reading “Day 13 – Hope or Hype – either way I got to keep pushing forward”

The rejection I didn’t need….

I just got home from picking up – what I was hoping money from the cupcakes I made to put on display at a local place here. I walked in – excited to hopefully only pick up the envelope.  Instead I walked in, my cupcakes were turned in, and not on display as they wereContinue reading “The rejection I didn’t need….”

Day 12 – down for construction

The title seem relative… That is what I am listening to as the new apartment complex is being built next door.  Something that has been quite the nuisance since I’ve been here.  I guess, also hearing the sounds of construction could also be a slight trigger.  Not one that sets me in a mood –Continue reading “Day 12 – down for construction”

Day 11 – the 3 month wait

Just wrapped up my call with social security.  Some good news – some discouraging news.  This process for disability is a 3 month long process.  So what’s happens now?  I have my businesses up and running – but still working on getting customers and generate revenue but I’m also still trying to figure out howContinue reading “Day 11 – the 3 month wait”

Day 6 – World falling apart….

Woke up this morning and it’s just like the shit doesn’t get any better.  Right now I am really trying to feel better.  Just trying to get back to feeling functional, and yet each way I turn it’s like a slap back.  First, couldn’t find my phone this morning – finally found it – andContinue reading “Day 6 – World falling apart….”

Day 1 – My path to recovery – my life with Complex PTSD

I have had one of the worse weeks emotionally of my life.  Something the EAP counselor is calling a breakthrough.  To me though, this doesn’t feel like a breakthrough – it feels like I am completely and utterly broken. If you don’t know what an EAP counselor is – it is that number they giveContinue reading “Day 1 – My path to recovery – my life with Complex PTSD”