The Many Men and Why Women Think They Are All the Same

Partly because most are the same, just in different ways.

Let me explain this.

I don’t believe this is just for women either. I’ve come to know that men often feel these same feelings, that trust is now a thing of the past.

We constantly seek acceptance, however we are never accepting of ourselves. A feeling that often leads us in finding fullfilment in a spouse, which always leads to failed, pressured, heated and intense arguments.

We have become a society that seeks the next big thing. We are constant seekers of improvement but we try to improve in the wrong ways.

Men and women alike look around themselves and looks at their spouse and says, hmm how can I improve who they are to suite my lifestyle? And if they don’t comply, what happens? The seeking begins, looking for one that will comply.

For men, it is often times a physical denial. If a woman doesn’t fulfill a sexual desire, a man will seek it. I have come to know, that often times it isn’t because a man is just horny. Often times it’s because he has a feeling of rejection. For a man, sexual rejection is like a stab in the soul.

Women, they are emotional seekers. So if a woman doesn’t feel emotionally satisfied, she will begin to seek. When a woman gets emotionally shut down, the insecurities begin because she doesn’t feel valued enough to have her opinion mean something. So when a man comes along, with an open ear, she is eager.

Most of the time, we seek to fix each other, instead of fixing ourselves. Then by sticking it out with the wrong ones, we feel like we are stronger, because we accomplished something by modifying someone’s negative behaviors.

What I have noticed too, that yeah we modify their behaviors for sure. They get sneakier, better at their deceptions.

How will you know who you are if you are always modifying who you are to fit someone else’s idolization of who you should be?????? ~ The Momma Rapper

I know I am different, and I’m okay with that. I will continue to be the truth in a false world.

Marley & Me – A Dog’s Tale

Meet Marley

20180515_000340

I can say without a doubt – he is the love of my life.  They always say dogs come into our lives for a reason – and I truly believe that.  To be quite honest I was kind of in that in between stage.  Wanting a dog, but knowing you can’t really afford another mouth to feed.  Well the kid and I had tossed around the idea, and it just so happened about a week after that conversation – along came home a very rough-looking pup.  A fat one, but a rough-looking one.

fb_img_1486684994831

(My two babies)

OMG isn’t he just the cutest.  Yes he is.  I know.  LOOK AT HIM hahahaha.  My daughter quite beautiful too – I KNOW.  I have beautiful babies.  Marley was actually her dog the first few weeks – but she is young – and well I used that against her to take possession of him.  I basically force adopted him hahahaha.  But really she knew him and I were meant to be.  Especially after the night she wanted to take him out-of-town and I had a complete crying fit – yeah – that was the night I knew I fell in love with him.

I am not joking either.  My daughter can attest to this story.  I was getting onto her about having the responsibilities of having a dog – and that she couldn’t be leaving during the weekends and leaving the dog to  me.

Then she pop off with – well I will take him with me.  HELL NO.  Like it was bad enough my child was grown – but like now you wanna take my grand baby riding around doing God knows what, what if he runs off or gets hurt.  He won’t know how to get home cause he just got here.  Yea yea – I know – I became my mother.

The thing is – that for those 3 weeks that Marley had been here – Katie had been gone on the weekends.  Me and this little one – we started doing things together.  Like, everything.  At the time he was a pup – I still had a regular vehicle.  So he got to go to the laundry mat, to the grocery store, I mean he was little so like you could just hold him like a baby hahaha.  screenshot_2017-12-01-10-45-35

Marley car rides

Isn’t he adorable 🙂 hahaha.

A bond that is really unmatched.  If I had to choose to do something with friends or Marley, it’s gonna be Marley.  I mean after all, he has been there through a lot.  And he is always down to do whatever.

All I got to say is “Marley wanna go ______” and he is like yep.  I could say let’s go to bed, he would be like, yep.  Wanna go on a walk, YEEEPPPP.  Wanna dance, yep.  Wanna throw fetch, yep.  Wanna sit out back and watch the stars, YEP.  He really does enjoy those things – or he is just pretty good at playing along hahahaha.

20180512_012606

Marley nap time

He gets me through the tough times.  He makes me laugh when I am sad.  He loves me unconditionally, despite how I look, how I feel, he is always there.  If I want to eat junk food, he says nothing, he just wants a bite, he is most definitely my partner in crime.  He is tough when he needs to be, even though he acts like a baby sometimes – when called to arms – he is there.

To be honest – he reminds me a little of my dad.  He does the things I know my dad would do if he was still here, and that would be comfort and protect.  Two things I’ve never experienced from a spouse, I at least had the blessing of having that growing up.  Something many people lack, and probably why I pose as a challenge for most men – because a weak man will never be a good match for me.

Yep, a Daddy’s girl.  Raised in the mud, tough as nails, a mouth you can’t control, witty and wild.

There are a lot of things that I know I would have never done alone, that I have been able to do because I have Marley by my side.  And a lot of those things have to do with my father.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post – we spent a great deal of time outdoors, as a family, building cypress furniture.  Even as kids, all of us, my cousins included would gather around a peel bark – or do whatever to earn money to able to go to the store.

Yea sounds crazy – but it taught us how to earn a living.  Nothing in life is free, NOTHING.  It cost someone, something, somehow, in some capacity, even if it is free to you.  Most of us picked up some tricks of the trade, and while my skill is nothing compared to the boys of the family, being the only girl – I can still build some shit.

It had been a long time since I had picked up a hammer, other than to hang picture frames.  I always loved to build things too.  That wasn’t really an option in the second marriage.  My vision didn’t line up with his – so it was better to just set that to the side, it was better than arguing.

You see, I got Marley at a time where I was transitioning into the single life, once again, and this time, in a different capacity than ever before.  At the time I didn’t know it, but looking back now.  I don’t know – he brought me companionship in a time where I needed it the most.

As I have said previously, single life isn’t for the weak.  There are a lot of lonely nights – and often times you can find yourself losing sleep, or losing yourself.  Trying to analyze your life, trying figure it all out.  Scary nights.  Getting used to the silence.  It was all scary.  Yes, even though I hate to admit it, even those crying nights.  You might say, well you got a kid.  Yea – a grown one, and even two years ago – she was still 17 – she was still gone most weekends.

Well do you know what happens when you get a pup?  They keep you busy.  They give you someone to talk to.  They kiss your tears away.  They curl up to you when you need them.  He makes me laugh.  He protects the house.  He watches movies, and even is my personal trainer.  Yep my personal trainer, cause he loves him some jogging.

 

img_20180408_214058_038

Marley Playing

With having Marley by my side, I guess in a way – it helped me learn more about me, because I am more willing to do things alone, because really I am not alone.  He is here.  He helped me paint the house we are in, helped me build quite a few picture frames.  He stands in the kitchen and watches me cook without saying anything when I am sneaking some snacksies.  Probably cause he just waiting on his.

Most people think he got the name from the movie, but actually after The Marley family.  And while I joke that Marley is nothing like his name intended, cause he has no chill, in reality – he name is very suiting.  He brought me love and peace at a time in which a war was raging within my soul.  He helped me get back to my creative and adventurous side.  He is my peace.  I mean you walk into your doors, and like how could your day not be left at the door, when they are so excited to see you??? Like they love you – even if you are covered in sweat, dirt, they gives no fks.  They like come here let me lick yo face! Hahahaha.

 

20180711_063653

So the next time you look at Mars and say he isn’t my son – you can kiss my jelly fish.

 

Marley & Me

 

Broke and Broken

You know I think the most disappointing thing in life, is when you have friendships that fail because of greed.

Now I openly discuss that I am broke, and once broken.  We are all just trying to do the very best in making it in life.

I had someone who befriended me, and boosted me up, and of course, I took the bait.  Really thinking this person thought I had some talent.  Wow someone who actually believed in me, someone who I really thought was feeling what I was saying.

And then after a few days – I get hit with the hook.

Look.  I am happy with my life.  I am just being me.  Offering someone “studio time” is great – but then days later – you hit them with “yea it’s only $750.00” like really?

I know we are all just trying to make money – but don’t fake it to make it in this life.

It is irritating because if you actually listen to the lyrics in my songs – you will hear the struggle, and nothing is more like wow – you never listened to any of my shit.

Broke, Broken and Bitchy

I feel the way I do because I have been struggling my entire life, and yea maybe in some kind of crazy way, maybe the “extra” work I am putting into being myself, eventually turns profit, but when I say I’m broke, like I mean it.

It is hard making it out here – and like what kind of “friend” are you – if you aren’t paying attention to ANYTHING they have said.

I make poor look pretty – but like the struggle is real out there for families.

Don’t fake being friends with someone just to sell them shit.

 

How Dating Could Destroy My Diet

Now this post may come off bitchy, so you must read through to the end to really understand my point of view.  And once you get done, even if you are married, you will most likely understand.

Now you might say to yourself – just because you get involved with someone doesn’t mean you have to kill your diet, but you would be wrong – cause I know how I am.  I know what I am capable of.

I also know how I am in relationships.

Let’s start off with the basics.  From the start – a lot of dates – are surrounded by what?  Yea – food.  Dinner, movies, food.  This is where you start to correlate foods with memories.

Then let’s go into the time.  You see, someone who gets up early in the mornings to workout, well after working all day – I’m too tired to go out.  The weekends come, and I have to take care of things around the house, and spend time with Marley & Leo (my pups).  Now even if I do make the time, guess what happens?  I go out, then go home, then I don’t get enough rest – so then no work out – then I hate you. Hahahaha.

I am also not oblivious to the reality in the success my weight loss either.

IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO LOOSE WEIGHT NOW THAT I AM ALONE

I am a cooking queen.  I love to create, I love to cook for people.  In my house –  before my child became an adult and moved out – we ate dinner at home everyday.  Now that I have an empty nest – I don’t have to cook, and often don’t.  I mean it’s just me – I can make my dinners in a few minutes flat.  My snacks generally consist of cheese or peanut butter but all lchf items.  When I am in a relationship, I use my food to do the seducing for me.  I want to cook at every opportunity to not only showcase my skills, but for level of involvement.  I enjoy an interactive man in the kitchen – but one that is suggestive and not controlling.  It’s fun when you find someone you love to cook with – but then again – that is again the issue – YOU ARE ALWAYS COOKING SO YOU ARE ALWAYS EATING. This goes for moms and dads too.  Children are little food monsters.  They are growing – they need to be fed.  We eat when they eat – so yea – it is harder when you have kids, or in a relationship.

So yea – dating could destroy my diet.

 

adult blur bouquet boy
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Spider Bite?

Yea – I may have gotten bit by a spider while in the shed getting things to build decor for my daughter’s wedding.

In other news, don’t miss your green light, or someone gonna tree your ass on their little Scoot Scoot.

Bhahahaha.

Spider Bite?

brown yellow black cross orb weaver spider
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

How Dating Could Destroy My Diet

Now this post may come off bitchy, so you must read through to the end to really understand my point of view.  And once you get done, even if you are married, you will most likely understand.

Now you might say to yourself – just because you get involved with someone doesn’t mean you have to kill your diet, but you would be wrong – cause I know how I am.  I know what I am capable of.

I also know how I am in relationships.

Let’s start off with the basics.  From the start – a lot of dates – are surrounded by what?  Yea – food.  Dinner, movies, food.  This is where you start to correlate foods with memories.

Then let’s go into the time.  You see, someone who gets up early in the mornings to workout, well after working all day – I’m too tired to go out.  The weekends come, and I have to take care of things around the house, and spend time with Marley & Leo (my pups).  Now even if I do make the time, guess what happens?  I go out, then go home, then I don’t get enough rest – so then no work out – then I hate you. Hahahaha.

I am also not oblivious to the reality in the success my weight loss either.

IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO LOOSE WEIGHT NOW THAT I AM ALONE

I am a cooking queen.  I love to create, I love to cook for people.  In my house –  before my child became an adult and moved out – we ate dinner at home everyday.  Now that I have an empty nest – I don’t have to cook, and often don’t.  I mean it’s just me – I can make my dinners in a few minutes flat.  My snacks generally consist of cheese or peanut butter but all lchf items.  When I am in a relationship, I use my food to do the seducing for me.  I want to cook at every opportunity to not only showcase my skills, but for level of involvement.  I enjoy an interactive man in the kitchen – but one that is suggestive and not controlling.  It’s fun when you find someone you love to cook with – but then again – that is again the issue – YOU ARE ALWAYS COOKING SO YOU ARE ALWAYS EATING. This goes for moms and dads too.  Children are little food monsters.  They are growing – they need to be fed.  We eat when they eat – so yea – it is harder when you have kids, or in a relationship.

So yea – dating could destroy my diet.

 

adult blur bouquet boy
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

A White Fat Chick Rapping – WTF?

I know – I know – what the bloody hellllll

 

Listen y’all – people have different things they enjoy doing, this just happens to be mine.  I know I don’t look the part – but my words are strong.

Please give it a listen – and share – comment.  I return the favor.

Yes I know I am different – CAUSE I’M HEAVEN SENT.

Check out my latest lunch break lyrics.

Lunch Break Lyrics

img_20181016_085147_911