Transformation Tuesday ~ Down 217 POUNDS WHATTTT

Oh yes yes it is TUESDAY

The day of the week I get to share my transformation to the world.  Well okay the five of you that are here with me on my journey bhahaha.

Losing weight is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I have gained so much knowledge about myself in the process.

Like for one, I’m tough as nails.  Two, I am in love with pizza.

A lot of people ask me what I am doing – first step – switch our your cane sugar for Stevia – that in itself is incredibly helpful.

Let me know what you are doing to change your lifestyle?

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Making Music Move ~ A Man on the Rise ~ An Up & Coming Artist Hitting the Rap Scene

And who would have even fucking knew? Not me? Why because I wasn’t paying attention. And like HOW tf NOONE gonna tell me about it?

Like what’s up hills? Like I didn’t see that shit on the school website? Like come on now. Like why am I always the last to know?

Like let me tell yall something too. Even when this man messaged me, I curbed him.

I hate to admit it, I didn’t even look at his profile. It’s instagram, it doesn’t say who it is.

And I’m so focused on me right now, I said thanks and kept moving.

He was actually telling me good job on my music. I was appreciative and very thankful but in my experience on Instagram, soon he would tell me he was stationed in Afghanistan and needs a wife soon after I picked up on his broken English even though he was from Michigan ???? So anyways yeah kept it moving.

For some time too.

Till the next message.

Now as you can see there is over 2 weeks in those messages but then he said that, and I was like hold the fks up. Who is you??? So investigative Annie came out to play and discovered this is my middle thru high school friend Herbert. Now I am sure this is his preferred name, however I called him Herby.

The crazy thing is, this boy he was smart and discovered still very driven into his dreams although different in ways that I would come to discover.

We have been out of school for close to 20 years. I know, I know ladies, reality tho. The last time I seen him, was so long ago, it’s rather blurry but he was in a white sedan that was broke down and he had no time to deal with visiting at that moment. And we never seen each other again.

We were pretty close in school so I was super happy to connect once again.

But then I discovered he does this all music thing.

He writes music like whhhaaattt???

So he sends me some of his music and I’m completely fucking took back. Like dam homie air high five cause like you done went through some shit and now you speaking on some real shit.

And like it’s pretty bad ass having a friend that shares artistic talents.

I hope y’all give him a go.

And share it up please.

Small town people, rarely make it out and up, let’s help him rise yall. Support me, by supporting him, and I will see and support you too in your endeavors

#letselivate

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A Man On the Rise

Watch Him Rise

Up in Dreams

Apple Candy

Remember Me

Goaldigging Together – Team Effort – Momma Rapper

The thing about goal digging is that you will hear people say, including myself from time to time, that saying “I don’t need anybody”.

Well we feel like this, often times because there isn’t a supportive base.  There is so much struggle in the world, but if I see a friend trying to showcase their talent – then I am going to do my best to lift them up, regardless of how the result comes for me.  When we help each other – it sets a snowball effect of boosting each other up, it makes people feel good.  You should never expect anything in return, if we care about each other – then we care about each other’s passion.

Sometimes it is so simple to make a huge impact in someone’s life, one that doesn’t cost you anything.

It only causes you a share after you read this.  I pay attention – I pay it forward, and notice the ones that have been there along the way.

Sharing a friend’s vision or dream – that means the world.  And even if we don’t know each other – if you are here reading – I hope you share your vision with the world, and I hope your friends and family help you rise along the way.

Lets rise together.

Yea I Got Dreams – Momma Rapping

A Mom Who Raps? WTF She Doing?

Yea I know – I should be at home knitting or some shit.  And yet here the fuck we are.

Maybe you didn’t know – My daughter grown.

She was the one that wanted me to start sharing my poetry.

It speaks to people, especially women who have been through a dumbshit relationship.

If it weren’t for my daughter – this would never be shared.

Thank you Princess for convincing me – I was great – even if it is only in your eyes – I will take it – cause your eyes are the ones that matter the most – Love you bug!

Momma Rapping

 

 

Fat to Fit in Fast Forward – Transforming Life

See the transition

Attached you will see some of the transitional workout pictures.  I am so blessed to be where I am at today with my weightloss journey.

Consistency is Key

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My Struggle ~ Tribute to Eminem ~ Momma Rapping

His words carried me thru some of the hardest times in life.

For me, we are kin but only thru sin

My tribute to a man that inspired me to seek more than the dark in the park.

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How Dating Has Me Fkd Up

I have started to realize that dating doesn’t even appeal to me anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, I go through these periods of loneliness to which I venture out – but always find myself coming home, grabbing something I am not supposed to eat, and just looking at Marley and saying “Marley, what the bloody hell what that?”  Often laughing cause it is just that ridiculous.

And this is after my fine tuned filtering beforehand too.  And honestly those dates, which have been quite some time ago, ruined it for me in regards to dating, right now at least.  At least until I am at that peak lonely, which hasn’t come again yet – so hopefully that crazy shit is gone. Hahahaha.

Seriously though, like YALL WTF????

PLEASE SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WTFFFFF

And for those out there dating, and probably on both sides of the spectrums (women and men) y’all know what I am talking about.

It is a feeding frenzy out there – but with all piranhas.  Men, they are thirsty, but the problem is, they already have a fountain.  Or they are in stuck mode.

Stuck, yea, I said it.  This is reality hour.  This is my reality, and I am not saying it is all men.  So if anyone decides to get offended, THIS IS MY REALITY.  Yours might be different – GOD PLEASE TELL ME IT IS – It will give me some hope that there is something more out there.

And y’all know what I mean too.  Men stuck on life in some capacity.  Stuck on themselves.  Stuck on their exes.  Stuck on trying to have a whole case of Good and Plenty, VARIETY PACK.  Stuck in their own heads.  No ambition.  No drive.  No goals.

I can’t stand when I am asking a man on a date – what kind of things do they plan on doing with their future, and they try to use that to lead into a flirtation thing.  Okay – it is cute – the first time I ask – but the second time a women asks this question – they wanna know if you have dreams, goals.

And now there is the whole stigma of asking a man if he has a job.

Listen, and please hear me out.  I am understanding.  I get, we all fall on hard times.  Like we all know I am a broke bitch, but I ain’t looking to see if you have money  – I am looking to see if you have stability, was this a layoff, like how many jobs have you had?  Yea  this is just like a job interview cause this is my life.

And I would like to be candid for a moment.  And this is for both, men AND WOMEN.  If you are not providing for yourself, why in the bloody Mary are you looking for a relationship?  And furthermore, if you aren’t working – then who is currently paying your way through life?  And if you say yourself, then I wanna see that I-9 cause I wanna know if you filing cause I am not into all that shady shit. NOT TODAY SATAN

Yea, you can say it – “this is why you single” girl – hell yes it is.

I have already fixed enough men, and you know how that left me? Fkd up – so nah, I GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER.  Yes I am broke, but I make poor look pretty.  The man can be poor too but he got to be working, putting in them hours, cause around here, we don’t do lazy.  He needs to be creative, expressive, honest, and loyal and understand the TRUE definition of each – cause some of y’all got all that shit fkd up too.

I need a man who is honest and loyal to himself, a deep honest and loyal.  I don’t want to hear this I’m loyal to this/ that person.  How about be loyal and honest to yourself, that way it is easier to be loyal and honest to those around you.  Now let me elaborate on that because I know some of y’all like what??? We have a tendency to be LOYAL to the person that is in front of us at any given time, as soon as that person is out of sight, where does your loyalty lie?  And I mean honestly – no fake shit talk either.  We need to stop bending and breaking to appease the loyalty of those around us.  You need to be loyal and honest to yourself.  Start at the core.  Start living your truths.  I need someone who recognizes their own faults, and is working on them – cause God knows we all have them.

Like I have been through enough shitty relationships to where now, unless you bring me bliss, 95% of the time, then I already know you are going to waste my time that would be inclusive to bringing me confusion, aggravation, or litigation, and no one needs any of that shit hahahahaha.

Hating Dating Though 🙂

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Humanizing Emotions

Insight to Emotions

It’s always been hard for me to show emotion. And typically when I do, I come off angry instead of sad.

I look back over my 20s and I was mad. Mad about a lot of stuff. Mostly on how people could work so hard to struggle so much. Even in my early twenties I used to think to myself wow, like these people I knew, the ones better off financially what a great life that must have been. You know to never get made fun of because your clothes tore on the playground, or because everything gained always had to be a fight to get. When I was going through my first divorce I was probably the maddest. While I was working two jobs, going to school, he was taking trips with his new wife. I struggled everyday of my life for the little that we had. Of course that isn’t my mindset today. Today I look back and I realized how blessed and how hard my parents worked for what little we did have. It’s hard to make it in this life. I am incredibly blessed for everything in my life. Everything. Down to even the negatives. Every thing within the house I am in, I worked for. I bought. I plan on, Lord willing buying the house I am in too. But that has been a battle since even before I moved in due to student loans. Cause you know, improvement is great, until you go to a school and acquire a degree that you can not use, and now that school is being sued by the department of education so you are waiting for Devoss to make her move so that hopefully your debt to income ratio flips and you can finally buy that house you are in love with. But hey, even though I’ve been waiting for 2.5 years, I am hopeful something happens soon before I loose my chance to buy the house. Ass to action Devoss. Some of us have dreams and ur holding us up.(I filed before I moved into the house, if you want more information, Google Corinthian College Fraud)

anyways

All that anger was really just pain. It was a combination of failed relationships, me failing as a mother, me failing as a daughter, just a lot. Then my dad passed away. Well I never processed any of my emotions. My life was in fast forward for so long that my emotions really only consisted of happy, or mad, no in between.

Well things have slowed down, and I am processing, I am healing. So some times the emotions I never processed, well they sneak up on me. And that is okay. It’s helping me heal. And I would rather process and heal than to be angry and upset all the time.

Excuse me I’m healing 💓