Listen ladies, I know breakups are hard. But you gonna keep on living. Don’t let a temporary emotion make you do permanent decisions.
You are gonna be alright.

Momma Rapper
Listen ladies, I know breakups are hard. But you gonna keep on living. Don’t let a temporary emotion make you do permanent decisions.
You are gonna be alright.

And probably why I can’t get a man – and I am okay with that.
The only man I want is one that can handle me being me.
Any less than that would be destructive to all that is me.

His words carried me thru some of the hardest times in life.
For me, we are kin but only thru sin
My tribute to a man that inspired me to seek more than the dark in the park.
His words carried me thru some of the hardest times in life.
For me, we are kin but only thru sin
My tribute to a man that inspired me to seek more than the dark in the park.

My life with gastroparesis poses quite a few issues for me. One of them is learning to work around it. There are things that I still don’t get to do; however I feel that through my diet, and exercise routines I am starting to where I can get back to enjoying life. It has been a rough few days, but I know like all pain – it is temporary and will pass. I just keep reminding myself to breathe. It is funny that I compare the pain to labor pains, cause I can still hear my Mid-wife – Dr. Delrose whisper to me, just breathe through the pain, something she said to me as my daughter was ripping my lower half of my body apart to make her grand arrival 🙂 It very much feels like that – but more stabby.
Bad episodes are pretty trying – and I have learnt to be forthcoming in the fact that I have this condition – because honestly, unless you have seen an episode, or know anything about it – it probably doesn’t sound so bad, but if you have ever had food poisoning, then you understand at least that part of it. If you take the pain and ripping apart cramps from labor pain and combine that with a dose of food poisioing – then you might be close to a bad episode.
Now for me bad episodes don’t come near as often as they used to. I have to contribute that to the keto, working out, and diet modifications. I mean, you only have to become violently ill so many times before you really deep dive into your condition.
This week’s episode, brought on by broccoli, well I was really thinking for a minute I was going to have to go to the hospital. Not that they are able to do anything really, other than Zofran – which I have, maybe some more pills, that will make me feel sick. So really there is nothing that can be done. You deal, and you keep it moving.
Luckily I am feeling a little better today. But I am weak, tired, and ready for this episode to subside.
But heyy – I had peanut butter and whipped cream for dinner so like it ain’t all bad 🙂
Happy days y’all.
I don’t have any – but I do have a lot of great advice on how to make poor look pretty.
This is the best advice I give anyone in regards to finances.
First you need to determine your needs, vs your wants.
How do you discover that cause we all need everything?
Well if you are poor it comes easy – but for the rest – this might be actual work, but I make it easy.
So you are trying to figure out where to start with a budget because you need to save some money, or have something planned, and you are trying to determine what things you can keep, and what things you need to stop.
I will make it super easy for you.
Take the expense – and make it into an annual expense – and best believe you will be more than happy to trim some of that excess spending.
For example:
NAILS
Are you a woman who get’s her nails done every two weeks like clock work?
What does it cost you ANNUALLY to have those beautiful nails?
Now let’s go with the lower cost – 20.00 (average in the Tampa Bay Market for a basic fill).
There are 52 weeks in the year, so if you are getting them done every other week – cut that in half.
So now you have $20.00 x 26 fills = You just spent $520.00 annually on your nails, if you were to only spend 20.00 and we all know – you never just spend the $20.00 unless you absolutely have to.
That is an incredible amount of money on nails. This is how I survive on minimal income. I translate everything into annual costing – and I make my decisions based on those numbers. Of course this is easier when you have no money, than when you do have have money. If that is the case, you will need discipline as well, but annual calculations will assist by making you more inclined to cut off unnecessary expenses.
Happy Budgeting Bitches.

Attached you will see some of the transitional workout pictures. I am so blessed to be where I am at today with my weightloss journey.
Consistency is Key


Now this post may come off bitchy, so you must read through to the end to really understand my point of view. And once you get done, even if you are married, you will most likely understand.
Now you might say to yourself – just because you get involved with someone doesn’t mean you have to kill your diet, but you would be wrong – cause I know how I am. I know what I am capable of.
I also know how I am in relationships.
Let’s start off with the basics. From the start – a lot of dates – are surrounded by what? Yea – food. Dinner, movies, food. This is where you start to correlate foods with memories.
Then let’s go into the time. You see, someone who gets up early in the mornings to workout, well after working all day – I’m too tired to go out. The weekends come, and I have to take care of things around the house, and spend time with Marley & Leo (my pups). Now even if I do make the time, guess what happens? I go out, then go home, then I don’t get enough rest – so then no work out – then I hate you. Hahahaha.
I am also not oblivious to the reality in the success my weight loss either.
IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO LOOSE WEIGHT NOW THAT I AM ALONE
I am a cooking queen. I love to create, I love to cook for people. In my house – before my child became an adult and moved out – we ate dinner at home everyday. Now that I have an empty nest – I don’t have to cook, and often don’t. I mean it’s just me – I can make my dinners in a few minutes flat. My snacks generally consist of cheese or peanut butter but all lchf items. When I am in a relationship, I use my food to do the seducing for me. I want to cook at every opportunity to not only showcase my skills, but for level of involvement. I enjoy an interactive man in the kitchen – but one that is suggestive and not controlling. It’s fun when you find someone you love to cook with – but then again – that is again the issue – YOU ARE ALWAYS COOKING SO YOU ARE ALWAYS EATING. This goes for moms and dads too. Children are little food monsters. They are growing – they need to be fed. We eat when they eat – so yea – it is harder when you have kids, or in a relationship.
So yea – dating could destroy my diet.

Meet Marley

I can say without a doubt – he is the love of my life. They always say dogs come into our lives for a reason – and I truly believe that. To be quite honest I was kind of in that in between stage. Wanting a dog, but knowing you can’t really afford another mouth to feed. Well the kid and I had tossed around the idea, and it just so happened about a week after that conversation – along came home a very rough-looking pup. A fat one, but a rough-looking one.

(My two babies)
OMG isn’t he just the cutest. Yes he is. I know. LOOK AT HIM hahahaha. My daughter quite beautiful too – I KNOW. I have beautiful babies. Marley was actually her dog the first few weeks – but she is young – and well I used that against her to take possession of him. I basically force adopted him hahahaha. But really she knew him and I were meant to be. Especially after the night she wanted to take him out-of-town and I had a complete crying fit – yeah – that was the night I knew I fell in love with him.
I am not joking either. My daughter can attest to this story. I was getting onto her about having the responsibilities of having a dog – and that she couldn’t be leaving during the weekends and leaving the dog to me.
Then she pop off with – well I will take him with me. HELL NO. Like it was bad enough my child was grown – but like now you wanna take my grand baby riding around doing God knows what, what if he runs off or gets hurt. He won’t know how to get home cause he just got here. Yea yea – I know – I became my mother.
The thing is – that for those 3 weeks that Marley had been here – Katie had been gone on the weekends. Me and this little one – we started doing things together. Like, everything. At the time he was a pup – I still had a regular vehicle. So he got to go to the laundry mat, to the grocery store, I mean he was little so like you could just hold him like a baby hahaha. 
Marley car rides
Isn’t he adorable 🙂 hahaha.
A bond that is really unmatched. If I had to choose to do something with friends or Marley, it’s gonna be Marley. I mean after all, he has been there through a lot. And he is always down to do whatever.
All I got to say is “Marley wanna go ______” and he is like yep. I could say let’s go to bed, he would be like, yep. Wanna go on a walk, YEEEPPPP. Wanna dance, yep. Wanna throw fetch, yep. Wanna sit out back and watch the stars, YEP. He really does enjoy those things – or he is just pretty good at playing along hahahaha.

Marley nap time
He gets me through the tough times. He makes me laugh when I am sad. He loves me unconditionally, despite how I look, how I feel, he is always there. If I want to eat junk food, he says nothing, he just wants a bite, he is most definitely my partner in crime. He is tough when he needs to be, even though he acts like a baby sometimes – when called to arms – he is there.
To be honest – he reminds me a little of my dad. He does the things I know my dad would do if he was still here, and that would be comfort and protect. Two things I’ve never experienced from a spouse, I at least had the blessing of having that growing up. Something many people lack, and probably why I pose as a challenge for most men – because a weak man will never be a good match for me.
Yep, a Daddy’s girl. Raised in the mud, tough as nails, a mouth you can’t control, witty and wild.
There are a lot of things that I know I would have never done alone, that I have been able to do because I have Marley by my side. And a lot of those things have to do with my father.
As I mentioned in a previous blog post – we spent a great deal of time outdoors, as a family, building cypress furniture. Even as kids, all of us, my cousins included would gather around a peel bark – or do whatever to earn money to able to go to the store.
Yea sounds crazy – but it taught us how to earn a living. Nothing in life is free, NOTHING. It cost someone, something, somehow, in some capacity, even if it is free to you. Most of us picked up some tricks of the trade, and while my skill is nothing compared to the boys of the family, being the only girl – I can still build some shit.
It had been a long time since I had picked up a hammer, other than to hang picture frames. I always loved to build things too. That wasn’t really an option in the second marriage. My vision didn’t line up with his – so it was better to just set that to the side, it was better than arguing.
You see, I got Marley at a time where I was transitioning into the single life, once again, and this time, in a different capacity than ever before. At the time I didn’t know it, but looking back now. I don’t know – he brought me companionship in a time where I needed it the most.
As I have said previously, single life isn’t for the weak. There are a lot of lonely nights – and often times you can find yourself losing sleep, or losing yourself. Trying to analyze your life, trying figure it all out. Scary nights. Getting used to the silence. It was all scary. Yes, even though I hate to admit it, even those crying nights. You might say, well you got a kid. Yea – a grown one, and even two years ago – she was still 17 – she was still gone most weekends.
Well do you know what happens when you get a pup? They keep you busy. They give you someone to talk to. They kiss your tears away. They curl up to you when you need them. He makes me laugh. He protects the house. He watches movies, and even is my personal trainer. Yep my personal trainer, cause he loves him some jogging.

Marley Playing
With having Marley by my side, I guess in a way – it helped me learn more about me, because I am more willing to do things alone, because really I am not alone. He is here. He helped me paint the house we are in, helped me build quite a few picture frames. He stands in the kitchen and watches me cook without saying anything when I am sneaking some snacksies. Probably cause he just waiting on his.
Most people think he got the name from the movie, but actually after The Marley family. And while I joke that Marley is nothing like his name intended, cause he has no chill, in reality – he name is very suiting. He brought me love and peace at a time in which a war was raging within my soul. He helped me get back to my creative and adventurous side. He is my peace. I mean you walk into your doors, and like how could your day not be left at the door, when they are so excited to see you??? Like they love you – even if you are covered in sweat, dirt, they gives no fks. They like come here let me lick yo face! Hahahaha.

So the next time you look at Mars and say he isn’t my son – you can kiss my jelly fish.
Marley & Me
It has been 14 years today that my life changed forever, it was the day I lost my father. I woke up with intentions of it being a good day – and I was going to stay positive. Sometimes even driving your mindset it the right direction – it decides to derail and take you through some rough terrain. And that is okay. I know I am processing and coping. As each year passes – different emotions surface.
My dad left 3 ladies down here to fend for ourselves in a very unkind world. He was our rock, and we each have learned to stand firm together, but alone.
I am still coping. I have great parents. I love them both dearly. Fly High Daddy – your Princesses are down here thinking about you and how much we miss you.
Tonight – I will be curled up in blankets and pictures.
I promise I will be up and cheerful again in due time.
