Weightloss Moment Captured in Song

I was sitting out back tonight thinking about how peaceful my life, despite having to scoop dog piles tomorrow hahahaha. Lawn day. Anyways.

I had a thought. I thought myself a song using the scale noises from yesterday and made me a song to forever remember the day I got below 200 pounds.

It was a huge day to hear the 1 come thru, a number I thought I would only ever hear in the later two numbers.

I hope u give it a listen, it’s kind of cute.

Hahahaha

Steady on that Grind

198 Club

My crazy ass on a Friday

Wedding Woes – The Mother of the Bride

So my beautiful angel is getting married in less that 2 weeks away.

This weekend will be wedding overdrive, especially considering, we only have 3 weeks to get it together.

I have to say though – I am quite impressed with how she is putting things together.

I can see my passive aggressive, obsessive compulsive disorder really shining through in her planning.  She has detailed lists, plans, and visions, and she is putting it together quite nicely.

She has passed out assignments – and like I like that.  She knows what she wants, and she knows who is good at what, and like I am just sitting over here, like yep – I made that – grinning from ear to ear.

My duties include cake (duh), a lot of food (splitting that with the baby daddy, yes he can cook too), hair, bouquets, some decor.

No worries, cause she gave me a list.

A little history on that – I was pegged as “Lists” in college.  Look I am a busy woman with some short term memory loss bhahaha – so yea we love us some lists.

I am proud of her.

In other news though – this boy stealing my baby -_-

 

 

Let’s Talk Money – Fiscal Fitness

I don’t have any – but I do have a lot of great advice on how to make poor look pretty.

This is the best advice I give anyone in regards to finances.

First you need to determine your needs, vs your wants.

How do you discover that cause we all need everything?

Well if you are poor it comes easy – but for the rest – this might be actual work, but I make it easy.

So you are trying to figure out where to start with a budget because you need to save some money, or have something planned, and you are trying to determine what things you can keep, and what things you need to stop.

I will make it super easy for you.

Take the expense – and make it into an annual expense – and best believe you will be more than happy to trim some of that excess spending.

For example:

NAILS

Are you a woman who get’s her nails done every two weeks like clock work?

What does it cost you ANNUALLY to have those beautiful nails?

Now let’s go with the lower cost – 20.00 (average in the Tampa Bay Market for a basic fill).

There are 52 weeks in the year, so if you are getting them done every other week – cut that in half.

So now you have $20.00 x 26 fills = You just spent $520.00 annually on your nails, if you were to only spend 20.00 and we all know – you never just spend the $20.00 unless you absolutely have to.

That is an incredible amount of money on nails.  This is how I survive on minimal income.  I translate everything into annual costing – and I make my decisions based on those numbers.  Of course this is easier when you have no money, than when you do have have money.  If that is the case, you will need discipline as well, but annual calculations will assist by making you more inclined to cut off unnecessary expenses.

 

Happy Budgeting Bitches.

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Deception is for Dickheads Men and Women Alike

I know that I come off as a man hating feminist – but in reality – I love me some men.  I just avoid them at all costs because let’s be real – most of y’all have

RELATIONSHIP ADD

I am tired of getting hurt – so unless you come 100% I don’t want ya!

You do not have the right to be happy if you are out here hurting people because you can’t deal with your own truth.

Stop living a lie.

This one gonna hurt some

The Aftermath of Abuse~ the Whore Walk

I am going to get pretty real about my own life, and I know some of this might be like wow, but if you actually knew me in real life, none of this has part of my life has ever been hidden. The things you would think I should hide from the world, I find no shame in it. I did in my rapping world because that was deep-rooted insecurities. Anyways.

And some of this may sound crazy and it is, but don’t act like we don’t all have some shit that would make people say, what???

So yea if u listened to the song, and understood the lyrics than yeah.

I had an affair on my husband.

But not so much and hold your ass up, cause some of y’all like to just scrub the surface and run.

Sometimes you need to dig a little deeper. My ex husband and I were toxic. Toxic is an understatement to the amount of hell we lived in. We hated each other for so much. He was mad at me for wanting to slow down in life, and me to him for never wanting to. He loved him some bars and doing whatever wherever.

Let me also say, I was faithful and committed, a good church going with his family type wife, for most of our marriage. You deal with enough abuse, and if someone comes along with soft words, you’re quick to jump the pond.

I also never hid my relationship with my lover, and my intimate part of my relationship ended many years before that point and not even sleeping in the same rooms.

My ex had torn me down so bad, he never believed another man would look at me, not at a hefty, at that time, 340 pounds. Down nearly 90 pounds from my heaviest. Hell even his parents were ashamed of me.

Hell I didn’t even believe it when a man looked at me, and was interested in me, looking how I did. And of course he was sweet, and charming.

Now I would like to add here as well that women who are in abusive relationships, we are targets for additional abusers. They see that there is a submissive side, often promising of roses and redemption in life but in reality they just bring different abuse. For a time, I figure, maybe he was my karma for having am extramarital affair, but that I never understood, considering my ex husband was in constant back and forth with different women during our marriage, never got served any karma. Not including the ones I don’t know about or the ones he doesn’t remember. He would never hide the things he had done, and I, in a sick way, respected him for that.

Sounds crazy right, but even to this day, I still kind of do. And actually now that I think about it, more so. I mean think about it.

The relationship after my husband, he was the kind that loved to be sneaky.

And to this day I still stand by the fact that I prefer the back of a hand over a lie out the mouth.

How the hell you supposed to know who you are even with, if that person is constantly lying? And to me, when you alter the truth to get a different outcome, it just means you are trying to stop the direction of fate. Honesty sets you free on so many levels, like toxic relationships🤔

You may still be confused on how I could have an affair and not have lied about it. Well, first off, again, my ex-husband was in the firm belief no one would want me.

He would often ask who I was talking to, and I would answer with “my boyfriend”. With witnesses surrounding us. I mean let’s be 💯 for a minute. I am not saying I didn’t lie at all, I’m just saying that I didn’t hide him. To keep peace, yea there were moments of sneaky behavior but that’s what happens when you are weak and being preyed upon.

By yet another one just trying to burrow theirs claws into an empty shell.

Like I had to sit my ex husband down and pretty much like spell it out to him. I can remember, my best friend waiting outside the door, just waiting to see how it was going to go. Hospital or morgue tonight? On the contrary though. That shit hit his ego somehow and shit changed permanently.

Little by little he became weaker and I became stronger. And now I am free from all of them.

And listen if any of you are ass holes like the above mentioned, don’t come at me now with that shit. I will drop kick ur ass in the throat.

And some of y’all wonder why women turn cold cold.

One Call

The beautiful truth 😘

Please give it a listen. Feedback always appreciated.

Fried Pecan Pie Danish – Easy Recipe

Yumminess

This recipe is quite easy – and honestly universal, and it’s scrumptious.

It is pretty basic.

Take some bread and flatten out.  For most of my recipes I used Arnold’s breads.  Pretty much out of preference – but also because I prefer their grain breads over the rest.  Now this is their Oatnut Bread.  Which I have to say was quite perfect for this recipe, since it is a thicker loaf.

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Then take a spoonful of cream cheese, I used whipped, and place in each corner of the bread.  Then press.

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Then you will take your beautiful bumps and cut them into 4 sections.

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Press gently around your scoops of cream cheese. Then cover and place in the freezer for at least 30 minutes.

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The next step is pretty easy too.  Fry them bad boys up in some unsweetened sweet cream butter.  OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Shake that butter baby hahaha.

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We aren’t done yet – cause y’all seen where I said PECAN right – alright then.  Pay attention to momma.

Once they have a nice light golden brown toasting – then add a drizzle of Agave syrup and pecans.  I get chopped pecans – and Agave in the raw.  Finish turning for a few minutes till your crust becomes caramelized.

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I guess I should also tell you to cook it on medium high heat.

Prep time is really like 10 minutes, cook time – roughly 10 minutes.

Your family said make this now!

HAHAHA

All made with healthy ingredients too – but I promise you will feel like you should be mad at yourself for indulging in this amazingly easy recipe.  Let’s be honest though – it is buttered toast with cream cheese – just better.

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Running Game? You thought! My Relationship Revenge

Running Game

Ever had someone who you were with that thought they were running game?  But you had already known – and in fact were running game every since you had found out?

I am a reactive person.  So however you treat me – you are going to get it back.

Now I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but I consider it more of a life lesson.  I came into a relationship with honesty and loyalty.  I catch you slipping, and I am going to make you feel stupid.

I make sure that person knows too.  I only play along for a certain amount of time, then bam! I bust it wide open with the truth, including what I was doing.

Kind of goes like this:

Him:  Hey baby

Me: Heyyyy

Him:  Wanted to see if you could swing by tonight.

Me:  Oh, yea sure, but it would have to be after this date.

Him:  What date – what the fuck are you talking about?

Me:  Oh, so you know how you had went to the movies with Tammy 3 weeks ago?  Yea I heard that movie was pretty good, so when Jarrod asked me on a date – I figured I would watch the same one.

Him:  What the fuck?  Who is Tammy, what the fuck are you talking about.

Me:  sends picture

architecture building business cinema

Photo by Nathan Engel on Pexels.com

 

Him:  Look she is just a friend.

Me:  Oh yea and so is Jarrod, but really hoping to make him a friend with benefits.

Him:  You’re a fucking bitch.

Me:  Yes I know – maybe next time you will think twice before you take your date to the movies where 1 of my (900) cousins works at.

Yes I know it is awful.  But someone needs to turn this little boys into men, and maybe they will at least think twice before next time.

We all know he still looking over his back.

HAHAHA

Boy BYE!

 

 

The Anxiety Antidote

Some of you may think anxiety can be controlled by thought or emotion – and to some degree yes it can be.  I utilize methods like meditation, breathing exercises to keep them at bay.

Unless I have a bad one.  I have closet anxiety.  One the surface I look controlled, solid.  On this inside it is like a million minions going into different directions all at the same time.

When you have anxiety – sometimes you can really be the toxic one in the relationship.

Now, let me explain.  Cause I know some of y’all like whhhhaaaaaaattt tttttthhhhhheeeee fuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk she just say.

I have anxiety, and I know I can be toxic in a relationship.

I am one of those to where when I feel fine, everything is fine, but when I am upset – everything makes me upset.

And I mean everything.  And for a man, that is a lot to deal with.  I am not super emotional – but I get snappy.  Pissy.  Attitude.  Everyone’s anxiety is different – and I know my condition crippled most of the relationships, but because I was with the wrong kind of person.

The problem is, that never once I have I ever had a man take the time to even try to pinpoint the issue, or even just accept the fact that it was just an episode, and cuddle me, instead of responding with more negativity.

I know sounds complex right.  Like how is a pissy woman asking a man to cuddle her when she is being a bitch.  Well because – that fixes it.

When someone is dealing with their anxiety – they just need someone to talk them through it.

For every person it is different, but if your spouse has anxiety – I will give you a few pointers that would have helped me.

  1.  Take some of the work off of their back.  If they are in the kitchen doing the dishes, and appear to be in an episode, grab the sponge, and tell them to go take their cranky ass to bed, or go get in the bath.
  2. If they wake up cranky, cuddle them.  Make their coffee for them – it is like a switch – showing that thoughtfulness – can really change a person’s outlook for the day.
  3. Reassurance.  I have dealt with a lot, I don’t need constant reassurance – but I do appreciate a man that can say “you are the one” and actually mean it.  Someone with anxiety – typically never feels good enough – so this helps them cope with that.
  4. Do NOT use the condition against them.  We are already self-conscious about it – we don’t need you to put it out to make us feel even worse about ourselves.
  5. Know that even though, I am a strong woman, like most people with anxiety, and I got me 95% – that 5% is when I need a soft hand on my shoulder.
  6. Don’t make fun of us.  I often stutter when I am upset.  I stutter because sometimes I get incredibly excited, and the words just come out all fucked up.  I don’t need someone poking fun at that.
  7. Be loving, and kind.

I have accepted my condition, and I deal with it.

This is the main reason why I will NOT have a man in my life that brings frustration, or aggravation.  I physically cannot handle that, nor do I want to.

To be honest, it is pretty easy to help someone through an episode, you just have to take the time to listen, to care, and to love.

Then it passes, just like all storms.

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Lazy Ass Men

Dating today is really difficult.  Men expect quite a bit from a woman, and commitment seems to lack.  I mean real commitment – not just committed while you in front of me, while you behind my back too.  If you are in a committed relationship – then privacy is out the window.  Have some dam integrity and be 100% in your relationship – other wise you’re just a waste of space.  Stop hurting people because you have relationship attention deficit disorder.

I have trust issues.  Deal with it – or just sit the hell down.

When you have been lied to and cheated on for most of your adult life – those little games men try to play with me – doesn’t work.

I need a real man that stands on his own – that has more going for his life than just who is in his DMs.

My rant can be found on youtube the link is below.

There is adult humor to it – so if I offend you – sorry.

Lazy Ass Men

 

Get out my face hahahaha

Actual picture of my daughter from 17 years ago hahahaha.

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