OMG Y’all – I forgot about this one – ~ The Relationship Roundup – an Insight to why I am such a B****

Actually I am sweet as sugar – unless you piss me off.

But….I realized something this morning.  I never did share with you guys my very first video, which was just a few months ago.  Now I didn’t rap this one, but the lyrics, I am about to convert it into a singing song.

Now listen, I have been writing since I was a little girl.  I know this video is raw, but I did it for my kid.  She has begged most of her teen life for me to actually share this part of my life.

But I was ashamed.  I mean, the lyrics to my songs, it puts vision to my life.  Something that is hard to allow, especially when there is so much to my past.

It is rough – it was the first one – and let’s all be honest – I am still really really raw.

I appreciate you giving it a listen.

Momma Rappers First Video  

 

P.S.  I own the lyrics, the words, and the voice hahahaha

 

How The Fashion Industry has Fat People Fkd Up

I have to honestly say – that over the past two years – I have really kind of started paying attention to the fashion industry.  I mean I always wanted to look good, but being fat my entire life, the options available to women were pretty much drab and outdated.

I don’t know if I am going through some type of midlife crisis to where I am more concerned now than I have ever been with clothes, and probably because of the fact that I have been introduced to Torrid.

I would like to say first and foremost – this isn’t a sponsored ad, so this by no means is a boost Torrid post – this is just my own personal experience.

I look back through pictures – pre-Torrid, and I just look at myself like meh – yea – outfits LAME.

But really what options did we have?  And then furthermore – I feel some type of way with companies in which their size 0-12 look fashionable and flirty – then you get to size 14-28 and it looks like we went back to 1990.

And do you know how crushing it is to walk into a store, and the only option you have is last winter, and winter circa 1965?  I mean honestly people – fat people like colors, shapes, patterns, different.  This is partly why I never enjoyed shopping.  Not only was I dealing with self-image issues – but it is crushing when you see an absolutely adorable pop pink dress – but it is only available in misses.  Your options are black, brown and grey.  Exclusion – cause being fat means you don’t care about yourself – so here ya go – have you some left over last year lame ass outfit.

Like why just because I am fat, can I not also get that adorable dress in my size, with the curves adjusted for a woman with a rack, and ass, and stomach included for free?  Like why do I have to look like an oompa loompa (no offense Willy) Monday thru Sunday?  And Jesus please someone make some thongs that actually fit over this ass.  I mean yea – I can find sizes that go around the waist – but I need something with some curve for the center string, so I am not digging the string out 900 times an hour.  And don’t come at with me – get a bigger size – cause I have done that too, and you know what happens, I am pulling up two strings, and pulling out 1.  Like someone help that situation.

Now I will have to say once I found Torrid, I realized there was someone who got us.  I hope to see the trend continue throughout the industry.

Just because we are fat – does not mean we don’t want to look good.

I want to slay Monday Thru Sunday.

Thanks to Torrid though – I am looking Hella cute today 🙂

IMG_20181005_081528_889

 

What I am Wearing ~ The Clearance Crusher

img_20181024_083630_986I have to say this is one of my favorite outfits.  Partially because it fits, and the other reason – because I blended my classy with my sassy.

The outfit is very basic – but the shirt – I bought that from Lane Bryant for  $0.56.  Yes less than 1.00.  You may ask how?

I only shop in the clearance sections of most stores, unless for some reason I am having to buy a specific outfit.

I also join the rewards programs at the stores.  This is critical – and if you aren’t doing this – you are missing out in a lot of free shit.  If the company offers a free reward card – I am using it.

I got this and one other shirt, for just a little over a dollar for BOTH.  They were already on clearance – then clearance was BOGO, and I had a $10.00 reward that I used.

Yep – how amazing is that!

The gloves, I bought out of season – only paid a few dollars for them.  Yes I had to wait to wear them – but it was totally worth it.

The kimono – BOGO @ Lane Bryant as well.  I got this one and a leopard print one for less than 15.00.  Freaking steal for kimonos.

The shoes, clearance BOGO at Torrid.  Along with the shades.

All clearance BOGO – combined with rewards.

I have been making poor pretty since 1981 hahaha.

 

 

 

DIY Wedding😍 We get it done

If you have been following me on Instagram then you know my baby girl is getting hitched.

Yep I may talk a lot of shit about men but I do believe in love as well and have taught my daughter to love abundantly. Well that bit me in the ass cause here she is getting married.

Well due to limited funds (thank God for this merger at work cause I scored some overtime or IDK hahaha), we are DIYing up over here.

I will say though even if we had money, we would still be DIYing our hearts out because it makes it special. You make not think so, but some of my best memories with my daughter is making stuff. We didn’t have cable when she was growing up, except in one apartment where it was included in the rent, but we were only able to stay there for 2 years. Well I’ve never really been a TV watching person anyways. Even when we had cable, we were at the community pool or tennis courts. We felt hella rich living there but to be honest the rent was low cause they were starting to get ran down. The neighborhood next to the apartments took a turn for some sketchy vibes so it flowed over into the apartments. That was also temporary too. Someone bought the apartment complex and redid it, the reason we got to move in, was also the reason we had to move out. After the new company bought the apartments and the lease came due, the rent went up.

We stayed for another year after that, struggling more and more each month. Then the ex~husband moved out and then of course once the lease was up, my kid and I had no choice but to move.

Something, unfortunately, I had done that quite a bit to my princess. I will say though, she gained a lot of friends along the way, so not all bad.

Anyways how did we even get there 😂😂and no I am not gonna edit. I have openly discussed that my stories will bounce but how else are u gonna understand if you don’t know a little background? I know it’s a good question.

Haha

Anyways back to DIY with my kiddo. Listen y’all I was both a father and mother at times, she as well played daughter and son. She loves both Mudd and water. She is both sun and moon. She had a universal, fluid spirit. She gets a lot of good from her father too. He is the hammer to our free spirits.

Him and I have been divorced for a very long time, but I see his grounded behavior in her. Which God knows that’s a good thing cause Momma in her younger days was quite the handful. I was young, raising a kid, in a chaotic world. Judge me if you wish but no one is perfect. You know more at 37 than 27. More at 27 than 20. And a lot more at 20 than you do at 18.

One thing that a young poor, hardworking woman loves doing though? Creating something grand out of very little. And if you were to ask my baby girl, momma pretty good at that.

I can’t tell you how much stuff we have made over the years. See there are benefits to being poor. When u have very little money for gifts, mom’s often buy that 5.00 craft kits from Walmart. For me, those kits were a 3 fold gift.

1. Christmas gift, and often times the boxes are big, fill the tree nicely.

2. They have the benefits of their work afterwords. Bracelets, purses, pictures, shirts, etc.

3. It gave us something to do together. I know right now she doesn’t understand how much that time meant to me but they are some of the best times ever.

I have always encouraged her in her arts, crafts or whatever creative outlet she wished. Something all parents really should do. Expressive outlets help children cope with life and God knows, if there was ever a time that children need something as an outlet cause the world done lost it’s mind.

We would turn up the radio, sing while she would color, create, build.

And I have to say when she showed me the jars she made the other day I was like well dam look at my baby with her little crafty self. 😄😄😄😄

We may financially struggle but we make do. And we paint our lives beautiful. I guess that is why she had no concerns with only 3 weeks to plan. Cause you know Momma got you baby 😘😘😘😘😘

Homemade is beautiful 😘😘😘

Pic by me the bouquets for the wedding and the boutonnieres. 😘😘😘

Jessica M Wilkes – No Part Time Men 😏 I Need Too Much Attention😂🤗 (original).mp3 – SoundCloud

Listen to Jessica M Wilkes – No Part Time Men 😏 I Need Too Much Attention😂🤗 (original).mp3 by Momma Rapper #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/jessica-m-wilkes/jessica-m-wilkes-no-part-time

And I mean this every fiber in my soul.

Nothing irritates me more than when a man comes along and awakens a love, but isn’t available. Not in any capacity. I need attention beyond the scope of the bedroom. 🤔

And not just physically, emotionally, mentally.

We all have busy schedules, and I’m one of the worse 🤔 but the difference is I am actually available, therefore attention can be given to the right one.

But I won’t settle for the wrong one ever again 😘😘

Running Game? You thought! My Relationship Revenge

Running Game

Ever had someone who you were with that thought they were running game?  But you had already known – and in fact were running game every since you had found out?

I am a reactive person.  So however you treat me – you are going to get it back.

Now I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but I consider it more of a life lesson.  I came into a relationship with honesty and loyalty.  I catch you slipping, and I am going to make you feel stupid.

I make sure that person knows too.  I only play along for a certain amount of time, then bam! I bust it wide open with the truth, including what I was doing.

Kind of goes like this:

Him:  Hey baby

Me: Heyyyy

Him:  Wanted to see if you could swing by tonight.

Me:  Oh, yea sure, but it would have to be after this date.

Him:  What date – what the fuck are you talking about?

Me:  Oh, so you know how you had went to the movies with Tammy 3 weeks ago?  Yea I heard that movie was pretty good, so when Jarrod asked me on a date – I figured I would watch the same one.

Him:  What the fuck?  Who is Tammy, what the fuck are you talking about.

Me:  sends picture

architecture building business cinema

Photo by Nathan Engel on Pexels.com

 

Him:  Look she is just a friend.

Me:  Oh yea and so is Jarrod, but really hoping to make him a friend with benefits.

Him:  You’re a fucking bitch.

Me:  Yes I know – maybe next time you will think twice before you take your date to the movies where 1 of my (900) cousins works at.

Yes I know it is awful.  But someone needs to turn this little boys into men, and maybe they will at least think twice before next time.

We all know he still looking over his back.

HAHAHA

Boy BYE!