Momma Rapper
Listen y’all, I appreciate a person pushing the products that they believe in.
But if a person tells you they are broke, it most likely means that in fact they are broke.
I support anyone who is working and putting forth effort for better days, but you don’t have to be pushy in order to do so.
A good product, a valuable product – it will sell itself. You push people away when you are being pushy.
Thank you though 🙂
I have to ask this question because being a fat girl – for some reason men like to come at me sideways.
Hey I get it. We are fat – so you automatically assume we all have some deep insecurities that would surely at least get you laid tonight.
Ha! I have pissed a lot of men off in my lifetime with the ego busting balls I carry around in my purse.
First off, there ain’t shit easy about me.
Secondly, most women at my age can tell when a man is just there to fulfill some sort of fetish fantasy. YEA MEN WE KNOW
Third thing – only few can handle all that lovings – so weak men need not apply.
I also can’t stand a closet chubby chaser. If you so ashamed baby you shouldn’t be in my inbox. Apparently being a chubby chaser is shameful, but being a dick head isn’t? Some of you guys out there that want to shame the same plus size beauties in public that you jerking off too in private.
Yea we know.
People have preferences.
You love you a large lady – then love her, and be happy about it.
If you love you a little lady – then love her, and be happy about it.
There is so much to this but I am going to keep it short.
I love both. I love Nicki for the reality that she sets forth in her music.
I love Cardi for her candid and honest behavior.
I am disgusted at both right now though. For two very powerful women – you both have the opportunity to make a stance for all women, and yet you would rather look like drama QUEENS since that is the title you are both fighting so hard to get.
Cardi – the night club shit?????
Like what are doing right now baby girl. You made it, why are you playing these petty little games. Be the QUEEN you claim to be – and walk tall – and quit with the petty shit.
Nicki – why are you even worried about Cardi? I have a whole different view of you now. I still give you props though for not feeding into it at the time – but you couldn’t at least make Cardi look like the kid she is by IDK maybe spitting some shit at her when she was coming at you.
USE YOUR WORDS
I am over here trying to raise a QUEEN myself and y’all both looking high school DRAMA QUEENS
AS WOMEN WE SHOULD BE BUILDING EACH OTHER UP – INCLUDING BEING HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER’S SUCCESS
HEY SERENA WILLIAMS – you are the new Queen 🙂
The rest of you, GET BACK TO THE MUSIC
As discussed previously I have gastroparesis. Today I am struggling. A flare up from veggies. Yes veggies. Fibrous foods. The struggle is real – but this is a fight I plan on beating. Pushing through to the finale 🙂
Meet Marley
I can say without a doubt – he is the love of my life. They always say dogs come into our lives for a reason – and I truly believe that. To be quite honest I was kind of in that in between stage. Wanting a dog, but knowing you can’t really afford another mouth to feed. Well the kid and I had tossed around the idea, and it just so happened about a week after that conversation – along came home a very rough-looking pup. A fat one, but a rough-looking one.
(My two babies)
OMG isn’t he just the cutest. Yes he is. I know. LOOK AT HIM hahahaha. My daughter quite beautiful too – I KNOW. I have beautiful babies. Marley was actually her dog the first few weeks – but she is young – and well I used that against her to take possession of him. I basically force adopted him hahahaha. But really she knew him and I were meant to be. Especially after the night she wanted to take him out-of-town and I had a complete crying fit – yeah – that was the night I knew I fell in love with him.
I am not joking either. My daughter can attest to this story. I was getting onto her about having the responsibilities of having a dog – and that she couldn’t be leaving during the weekends and leaving the dog to me.
Then she pop off with – well I will take him with me. HELL NO. Like it was bad enough my child was grown – but like now you wanna take my grand baby riding around doing God knows what, what if he runs off or gets hurt. He won’t know how to get home cause he just got here. Yea yea – I know – I became my mother.
The thing is – that for those 3 weeks that Marley had been here – Katie had been gone on the weekends. Me and this little one – we started doing things together. Like, everything. At the time he was a pup – I still had a regular vehicle. So he got to go to the laundry mat, to the grocery store, I mean he was little so like you could just hold him like a baby hahaha. 
Marley car rides
Isn’t he adorable 🙂 hahaha.
A bond that is really unmatched. If I had to choose to do something with friends or Marley, it’s gonna be Marley. I mean after all, he has been there through a lot. And he is always down to do whatever.
All I got to say is “Marley wanna go ______” and he is like yep. I could say let’s go to bed, he would be like, yep. Wanna go on a walk, YEEEPPPP. Wanna dance, yep. Wanna throw fetch, yep. Wanna sit out back and watch the stars, YEP. He really does enjoy those things – or he is just pretty good at playing along hahahaha.
Marley nap time
He gets me through the tough times. He makes me laugh when I am sad. He loves me unconditionally, despite how I look, how I feel, he is always there. If I want to eat junk food, he says nothing, he just wants a bite, he is most definitely my partner in crime. He is tough when he needs to be, even though he acts like a baby sometimes – when called to arms – he is there.
To be honest – he reminds me a little of my dad. He does the things I know my dad would do if he was still here, and that would be comfort and protect. Two things I’ve never experienced from a spouse, I at least had the blessing of having that growing up. Something many people lack, and probably why I pose as a challenge for most men – because a weak man will never be a good match for me.
Yep, a Daddy’s girl. Raised in the mud, tough as nails, a mouth you can’t control, witty and wild.
There are a lot of things that I know I would have never done alone, that I have been able to do because I have Marley by my side. And a lot of those things have to do with my father.
As I mentioned in a previous blog post – we spent a great deal of time outdoors, as a family, building cypress furniture. Even as kids, all of us, my cousins included would gather around a peel bark – or do whatever to earn money to able to go to the store.
Yea sounds crazy – but it taught us how to earn a living. Nothing in life is free, NOTHING. It cost someone, something, somehow, in some capacity, even if it is free to you. Most of us picked up some tricks of the trade, and while my skill is nothing compared to the boys of the family, being the only girl – I can still build some shit.
It had been a long time since I had picked up a hammer, other than to hang picture frames. I always loved to build things too. That wasn’t really an option in the second marriage. My vision didn’t line up with his – so it was better to just set that to the side, it was better than arguing.
You see, I got Marley at a time where I was transitioning into the single life, once again, and this time, in a different capacity than ever before. At the time I didn’t know it, but looking back now. I don’t know – he brought me companionship in a time where I needed it the most.
As I have said previously, single life isn’t for the weak. There are a lot of lonely nights – and often times you can find yourself losing sleep, or losing yourself. Trying to analyze your life, trying figure it all out. Scary nights. Getting used to the silence. It was all scary. Yes, even though I hate to admit it, even those crying nights. You might say, well you got a kid. Yea – a grown one, and even two years ago – she was still 17 – she was still gone most weekends.
Well do you know what happens when you get a pup? They keep you busy. They give you someone to talk to. They kiss your tears away. They curl up to you when you need them. He makes me laugh. He protects the house. He watches movies, and even is my personal trainer. Yep my personal trainer, cause he loves him some jogging.
Marley Playing
With having Marley by my side, I guess in a way – it helped me learn more about me, because I am more willing to do things alone, because really I am not alone. He is here. He helped me paint the house we are in, helped me build quite a few picture frames. He stands in the kitchen and watches me cook without saying anything when I am sneaking some snacksies. Probably cause he just waiting on his.
Most people think he got the name from the movie, but actually after The Marley family. And while I joke that Marley is nothing like his name intended, cause he has no chill, in reality – he name is very suiting. He brought me love and peace at a time in which a war was raging within my soul. He helped me get back to my creative and adventurous side. He is my peace. I mean you walk into your doors, and like how could your day not be left at the door, when they are so excited to see you??? Like they love you – even if you are covered in sweat, dirt, they gives no fks. They like come here let me lick yo face! Hahahaha.
So the next time you look at Mars and say he isn’t my son – you can kiss my jelly fish.
Marley & Me
I don’t have any – but I do have a lot of great advice on how to make poor look pretty.
This is the best advice I give anyone in regards to finances.
First you need to determine your needs, vs your wants.
How do you discover that cause we all need everything?
Well if you are poor it comes easy – but for the rest – this might be actual work, but I make it easy.
So you are trying to figure out where to start with a budget because you need to save some money, or have something planned, and you are trying to determine what things you can keep, and what things you need to stop.
I will make it super easy for you.
Take the expense – and make it into an annual expense – and best believe you will be more than happy to trim some of that excess spending.
For example:
NAILS
Are you a woman who get’s her nails done every two weeks like clock work?
What does it cost you ANNUALLY to have those beautiful nails?
Now let’s go with the lower cost – 20.00 (average in the Tampa Bay Market for a basic fill).
There are 52 weeks in the year, so if you are getting them done every other week – cut that in half.
So now you have $20.00 x 26 fills = You just spent $520.00 annually on your nails, if you were to only spend 20.00 and we all know – you never just spend the $20.00 unless you absolutely have to.
That is an incredible amount of money on nails. This is how I survive on minimal income. I translate everything into annual costing – and I make my decisions based on those numbers. Of course this is easier when you have no money, than when you do have have money. If that is the case, you will need discipline as well, but annual calculations will assist by making you more inclined to cut off unnecessary expenses.
Happy Budgeting Bitches.
The title means exactly what you think it means. Yes ladies, I am talking about feeling beautiful when you are naked. The moment a lot of women fear, self-hate is a norm for us, but I am here to explain to you how I fixed that – and easily too.
No, I am not going to go into the working out, and all that. I mean in reality – you guys know working out – eating healthy – creates healthy mindsets – I don’t need to be the one to tell you that, I am here to tell you that selfies can cure your self-hate image of yourself, or at the very least help some.
For me, up until my life become a solo mission – I had self-image issues. Every insecurity you could think of – fear of mirrors, no photo please – kind of personality. Well now, not so much, now I am like ooo hey girl hey, to myself. And I did that by playing dress up in some sexy stuff.
OMG I know I sound like I am 5. Here is the thing – IDC. I went and bought some sexy stuff. I mean some pretty sexy stuff. Stuff that I thought was cute – and since I am on a solo mission – trying to find things that fit a man’s vision isn’t a concern for me. I buy it for me. I then took these items home, and try them on. In front of a mirror. I take some videos, snap a few pics, then sit back and look at all that glory God has bestowed upon me.
The first time it was hard. I could see every dimple in my thighs, I could see that my waist was so wide, that my ass looked flat from the backside. There were all these imperfections, but then I noticed something, when I stopped looking at all the little imperfections, and I looked at myself as whole person – I didn’t look bad at all. Like dam girl where you been my whole life?
Yea I know cocky right? I don’t care. Cocky sure the hell beats depression.
Now it takes some time. And this is something I still do to this day. Since my body has been changing from losing the weight – I am discovering a whole new body. Even without the weight loss though – I was/am discovering my naked beauty.
My most vulnerable stage, and I am presenting it to myself. It is a honesty thing. Acceptance thing. This is me, and I am beautiful.
I am undoing what has been told to me for many many years.
I mean after all – why in the hell do we allow someone else’s voice carry more value than our own?
No one knows the inner you – more than you – stop giving people that much authority over your thoughts and emotions. Your voice is stronger than theirs, and your voice will be heard more by you than theirs.
I would like to challenge all my friends to do the same. Find your sexy – within you – by you. Build your confidence. Make is solid – then it can never be shattered.
Flaunt your fabulous 🙂
Probably for the same reason we stay in dead end jobs. Partly because we are lazy, and partly because it is comfortable. I speak from experience. I mean how many times does a man need to screw up before I am like okay – you need to go? Apparently quite a bit.
I have been trying to figure that question out for some time now. Being alone – it takes work. I mean sleeping alone in itself can be scary. Not to mention the feeling of abandonment when your used to your phone being blown up day in and day out.
We stay hopeful too. Like oh, he made a mistake, but he is going to change. And then as women we feel like we are raising this boy into a man – so we feel accomplished. What I have realized though – is when you have to be the boy’s momma – he will always make mistakes – and you will always be left cleaning up the mess.
How many times have you been disrespected in any capacity – and yet stayed – and have you ever asked yourself why?
I have come to know my reasons, and I will be candid.
First off – I like comfortable. From everything in life to my jammies to my relationship. I want a man to fit my lifestyle like a glove, don’t complicate shit for me – it will irritate me.
Secondly I never felt like I deserved more than what was in front of me. OMG I know, but hey self-realization is hard – but when you become honest with yourself – your life starts to come together.
Third – I am lazy – I would rather comfortable and knowing that the person in front of me is an ass hole over the next one that I don’t know – and I don’t know what they bring to the table – cause God knows the other switch outs didn’t play too good in my favor in the past.
Fourth – loneliness used to scare the shit out of me. Now I rather enjoy it – and often find that now it takes more work to be social than to be alone. This one is the hardest. Often times, we as women, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. I guess maybe from the teachings of Adam and Eve, we as women feel like we need a man to thrive, to survive, but I am here to tell you – I have been alone for the past 2 years – and it has been the hardest, most rewarding 2 years of my life. Learning to be alone – you realize how to love yourself.
Now the benefit to the 4th, is that when you are left alone, on your own, you learn your true strengths, and with that – the other 3 get cancelled out.
Being alone isn’t for the weak – cause God knows there would be times to where I didn’t feel like I could go on any longer alone, but you stay with your grind, and you figure shit out. The fear that I have now is that I am so happy in my own little world that I won’t let a man be a part of it hahahaha – they have a tendency to ruin things for me. Hahaha.
Relationships take work – but I have to tell all you beautiful bitches a secret.
People only treat you how you allow them to treat you.
Yea you heard me. PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO.
Repeat it again PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO
Speak up for yourself . USE YOUR WORDS. Express your feelings, we need to work on our own communication skills before we can expect our spouses to do the same.
We have become a society in which we are in constant need of fixing other people’s life – we don’t realize our own life needs some fixing.
Start with YOU, cause I promise in your quest to repair yourself – people filter themselves out naturally!!!!!!
Have a fabulous day my friends.
Yes, for me, there is turmoil over the truth.
You see, I am very much a truth seeker. And not just in the relationship sector of my life, in just about any aspect of my life. I mean I can read an article, and if it sounds a little off, I am verifying, and researching. I mean, part of that is why I am good at my regular job. I am incredibly analytical, and that ladies and gents is a huge issue in relationships.
Most of my jobs have surrounded around finding errors, or missing links between data. Now I am not saying that I don’t make mistakes, I am human, and often times when typing – I am thinking so fast – that sometimes I miss words, or I may have a grammar error from time to time. I have a fast paced life, along with a phone that is on its last leg – with plenty of broken glass that I take a risk my life on every time I am on it. Hey times are tough, and really I am able to accomplish the things I need to, so all is well for now.
Now take that error finding personality and apply that to your home. Now if honesty and integrity in relationships was still a valid thing, then this probably wouldn’t be an issue; however, I become almost a challenge to a man. And we all know how men love a challenge. Like, hmm, she good – let’s see how good, let me see what I can actually get away with before she catches on.
Well not very far. You see, when a women tells you she is analytical – pay attention to that – because that means that by nature, even if she seems like she isn’t paying attention, she is. This translates to knowing your schedule/ routine, and close to the minute.
Well you might be thinking – well okay – most people do. Yea – well do you know many minutes your spouse’s shower is,or how long it takes them to cook breakfast? Basically being able to walk through their life in my own eyes, but for me, it translates to numbers.
I don’t even do it intentionally – and it isn’t immediate or overnight – it is the repetition of events that stick to my brain. It isn’t like I am calculating either, but certain things correlate for me. For example, if you listen to music in the shower, you listen to 3 songs, depending on the type of music – typically you can expect most songs to be between 3.5 to 5 minutes in length, so typically you can expect your shower to be between 10.5 to 15 minutes in length. It’s the correlation that makes markers in my brain.
To further that, when people speak to me, my brain is in auto pilot and draws out a picture in my head of the events taking place, and typically can pick out errors in stories. I don’t know – it is verbal connectivity. I love it for work purposes – and hate it when it comes to my own personal life.
Yea – I said that – because sometimes ignorance is bliss. Maybe if I was living in a world where deception wasn’t the new truth – then yea it wouldn’t be an issue. And like I get it. There is so many outlets available to people to pursue infidelity. Everyone promising everyone to be better than the last one – but really – it is the chase people love. Not saying there aren’t people out there that find the “one” and live happily ever after – I am just saying there is a group of us in which this is our reality.
I am not being bitter either. How many of you would HONESTLY hand their spouse their phone, and have no concerns what so ever? And I mean complete transparency too? No deleting. If your spouse had access to your data files, and was able to sift through ever since piece of your life on that phone, would you have concerns?
I don’t believe in privacy in a relationship. Yea – yea I know – OMG. How horrible. Say what you want – but if a man is going to be laying next to me, and inside of my body – well then there is no privacy. Sorry not sorry. Not off the bat – but if I am in a long term committed relationship (which is often when this starts happening), then yea. You start acting shady – what’s up – what you doing?
You want privacy with your phone – I am gonna need some privacy with this p*****. I know sounds bitchy – but hey – whatever – it’s my life, and honestly – if you value that phone and what is in it – over your relationship, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
When you are in your twenties you concern yourself with relationships, by the time you get to be my age – late 30s – you just want honesty and security. My pursuit of happiness now most definitely does not include a relationship. I am completely emotionally disconnected from the male population too. Any advances are often not noticed, and even with they are noticed – I promptly reject the idea. Not today Satan. I am not joking either – I have no intention nor want the distraction or frustration that comes with dating. I am not ready – and I don’t have to be.
I want the type of relationship that includes honestly. I want a best friend. Your spouse is the only one that should know the deeper side of you (in all ways hahahahaha).
Have a great week 🙂
And yes I can say that because I work hard to be, so let’s argue?? Hahahaha. When I say I never shy away from hard work – I absolutely mean it – especially if my mother needs help. Last weekend – she was working in the yard – and came across something that sent her to the emergency room via ambulance. A terrifying situation when I am at home – and I get a call from my child saying that my mother had passed out at her job. My mom was there picking Katie up for work, and by the grace of God – her and her co-workers acted promptly – EMTs were fast – and all is well. Well we aren’t quite sure what exactly happened – but as an over protective over bearing daughter – yea baby girl coming Momma – I’m gonna go handle that shit. Like how terrifying – and I would like to add, October 9 is right around the corner – the day my Dad passed back in 04. Yeah – I ain’t having that shit over a plant or bug – it all gets trimmed back – cleaned up – and a lot sure the hell went.
My Mother, and my daughter – these, these are my people, and I know how precious time is. When you lose a parent it just changes you. Changes your perspective and I am not going to go into it, but those who know know, you get it, and I don’t think that really even needs to be explained.
I would like to give you another factsies about me. I am a Taurus. Yea – hahahaha. My daughter – LEO, my mum – VIRGO.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – Those who are into the Zodiac get that reference, those of you that don’t, let me break it down.
Virgo – incredibly critical
Leo – incredibly dominating
Taurus – incredibly stubborn
Yea we argue. And what? We say what we mean – and mean what we say – we sure the hell don’t sugar coat shit except these cakes, and we are are all very possessive over each other.
I don’t mean a little. I mean a lot. I have the worst of the 3 in regards to temper, and also the loudest. My daughter just loves us for us – me and my mom a little off the chain – but Katie finds us incredibly amusing – so she loves to hang out with us. And honestly we all LOVE TO FKNG LAUGH and WE ALL FUNNY – maybe not for anyone else – but we find each other hilarious. We make the best out of life – and even when we work hard – 
like why bitch – or complain – make it fun – like a game. It isn’t the work your doing that makes you an ass while you doing it – it’s your perspective. Like if got shit you got to do – then buckle it up bitches – and make it fun – cause it’s got to get done either dam way.
Now you might be thinking to yourself it’s just a little yard work, not quite so much. You see – I don’t know what is in my mother’s yard – so like it’s time for a good good trim down. I wanted to burn the fence – and even got the lighter fluid out – cause burn baby burn – a controlled burn of course. Momma shot down that idea – despite already telling her I was bringing it – but it was dry out today – and I know she still wants to keep some of the plants, so chop chop bitches. Looks easy enough right?
Momma first brought out the some clippers, but then she came back out and brought my Daddy’s machete. This particular machete – was also my Papa’s. It meant the world that she brought it to me to use – and talk about nostalgia. I spent 6 hours in my mom’s yard trimming, cutting, butchering a variety of different bushes.
My mom has lived on her own since my dad has passed. She has been completely self – sufficient; however right now – my Mom is experiencing some pretty bad knee pain due to an old injury, and her RA (rheaumatoid arthritis). RA is incredibly painful, and yet my 60 year old beautiful momma still goes to work 5 days a week – standing on her feet to serve a lot of those beautiful babies out there in the Hills their breakfasts and lunches, I give it to those ladies too. Dead on their feet all day. Anyways, she also does the grandma thing too – games, events, church. She is just a little busy bee. Lately she has been struggling to do those things because of her knee – but she still pushes through, each and every day. She really is the one who deserves the savage title, cause really she is the savage. She is one of the most loving and caring people too – and she is just absolutely amazing. I mean we learn from those around us.
Now here is the thing – my dad – he was strong – big – teddy bear – but he handled what ever needed handled – and was a manly man – so he loved to show his manly side for Mom. She asked him to tear something down – and he would – and he loved do that – cause he loved her – and she loved him. Plus my Dad was kind of a big, tough man, but his hands protected his family – and to be honest – my Dad was a fighter. Not with Mum, like with the random young punk thinking they can bo up at him, till you realize his fat ass would chance your ass down the road – cause yea he might be big – but we worked in the swamps – he had endurance – hahahaha.
So without my Dad around – my mom is left with me and my brother and the grandbabies to pitch in and help when needed. The thing with Mom though – she never asks – and will often get offended when you even attempt to help – cause you will hear her say “I got it” – we know Mommmm.
Right now between her knee, and whatever plant or bug is in her yard – she is on Mom watch until further notice. Luckily my daughter is there to watch over her when she can. My mom has no choice right now to let me us help her because like that is just too scary – and we aren’t letting her – and she knows I will call her older sister if she don’t listen. Which I have to say – I really wish I would have realized threatening my mom with her older siblings could be used as leverage earlier in life – so many arguments that could have been resolved with “I”m calling your sister”.
I was also like to add – I live in Florida – yea yard work in Florida – in September, yea – haha – I know – but I don’t mind it. I mean, we live in Florida – it is hot – but like we live here – so you adapt – drink lots of fluids – and hope for the best.
It was 93 out today, but it was a beautiful day – and honestly it brought back so many memories. With every swing of the machete – and cutting back shrubs, it was just all very filling. You see, benefit comes in hard work – and sometimes those benefits aren’t financial. I had a GREAT day – busting my ass – and doing what we should be doing for our families.
I Smell Cakes and Candy