Running Game? You thought! My Relationship Revenge

Running Game

Ever had someone who you were with that thought they were running game?  But you had already known – and in fact were running game every since you had found out?

I am a reactive person.  So however you treat me – you are going to get it back.

Now I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but I consider it more of a life lesson.  I came into a relationship with honesty and loyalty.  I catch you slipping, and I am going to make you feel stupid.

I make sure that person knows too.  I only play along for a certain amount of time, then bam! I bust it wide open with the truth, including what I was doing.

Kind of goes like this:

Him:  Hey baby

Me: Heyyyy

Him:  Wanted to see if you could swing by tonight.

Me:  Oh, yea sure, but it would have to be after this date.

Him:  What date – what the fuck are you talking about?

Me:  Oh, so you know how you had went to the movies with Tammy 3 weeks ago?  Yea I heard that movie was pretty good, so when Jarrod asked me on a date – I figured I would watch the same one.

Him:  What the fuck?  Who is Tammy, what the fuck are you talking about.

Me:  sends picture

architecture building business cinema

Photo by Nathan Engel on Pexels.com

 

Him:  Look she is just a friend.

Me:  Oh yea and so is Jarrod, but really hoping to make him a friend with benefits.

Him:  You’re a fucking bitch.

Me:  Yes I know – maybe next time you will think twice before you take your date to the movies where 1 of my (900) cousins works at.

Yes I know it is awful.  But someone needs to turn this little boys into men, and maybe they will at least think twice before next time.

We all know he still looking over his back.

HAHAHA

Boy BYE!

 

 

Humanizing Emotions

Insight to Emotions

It’s always been hard for me to show emotion. And typically when I do, I come off angry instead of sad.

I look back over my 20s and I was mad. Mad about a lot of stuff. Mostly on how people could work so hard to struggle so much. Even in my early twenties I used to think to myself wow, like these people I knew, the ones better off financially what a great life that must have been. You know to never get made fun of because your clothes tore on the playground, or because everything gained always had to be a fight to get. When I was going through my first divorce I was probably the maddest. While I was working two jobs, going to school, he was taking trips with his new wife. I struggled everyday of my life for the little that we had. Of course that isn’t my mindset today. Today I look back and I realized how blessed and how hard my parents worked for what little we did have. It’s hard to make it in this life. I am incredibly blessed for everything in my life. Everything. Down to even the negatives. Every thing within the house I am in, I worked for. I bought. I plan on, Lord willing buying the house I am in too. But that has been a battle since even before I moved in due to student loans. Cause you know, improvement is great, until you go to a school and acquire a degree that you can not use, and now that school is being sued by the department of education so you are waiting for Devoss to make her move so that hopefully your debt to income ratio flips and you can finally buy that house you are in love with. But hey, even though I’ve been waiting for 2.5 years, I am hopeful something happens soon before I loose my chance to buy the house. Ass to action Devoss. Some of us have dreams and ur holding us up.(I filed before I moved into the house, if you want more information, Google Corinthian College Fraud)

anyways

All that anger was really just pain. It was a combination of failed relationships, me failing as a mother, me failing as a daughter, just a lot. Then my dad passed away. Well I never processed any of my emotions. My life was in fast forward for so long that my emotions really only consisted of happy, or mad, no in between.

Well things have slowed down, and I am processing, I am healing. So some times the emotions I never processed, well they sneak up on me. And that is okay. It’s helping me heal. And I would rather process and heal than to be angry and upset all the time.

Excuse me I’m healing 💓

The Many Men and Why Women Think They Are All the Same

Partly because most are the same, just in different ways.

Let me explain this.

I don’t believe this is just for women either. I’ve come to know that men often feel these same feelings, that trust is now a thing of the past.

We constantly seek acceptance, however we are never accepting of ourselves. A feeling that often leads us in finding fullfilment in a spouse, which always leads to failed, pressured, heated and intense arguments.

We have become a society that seeks the next big thing. We are constant seekers of improvement but we try to improve in the wrong ways.

Men and women alike look around themselves and looks at their spouse and says, hmm how can I improve who they are to suite my lifestyle? And if they don’t comply, what happens? The seeking begins, looking for one that will comply.

For men, it is often times a physical denial. If a woman doesn’t fulfill a sexual desire, a man will seek it. I have come to know, that often times it isn’t because a man is just horny. Often times it’s because he has a feeling of rejection. For a man, sexual rejection is like a stab in the soul.

Women, they are emotional seekers. So if a woman doesn’t feel emotionally satisfied, she will begin to seek. When a woman gets emotionally shut down, the insecurities begin because she doesn’t feel valued enough to have her opinion mean something. So when a man comes along, with an open ear, she is eager.

Most of the time, we seek to fix each other, instead of fixing ourselves. Then by sticking it out with the wrong ones, we feel like we are stronger, because we accomplished something by modifying someone’s negative behaviors.

What I have noticed too, that yeah we modify their behaviors for sure. They get sneakier, better at their deceptions.

How will you know who you are if you are always modifying who you are to fit someone else’s idolization of who you should be?????? ~ The Momma Rapper

I know I am different, and I’m okay with that. I will continue to be the truth in a false world.

Shady Shit Saga

I don’t understand the obsession with being shady, and this isn’t just for men. Like in general. People in general? I don’t understand why people can’t just say what they mean, and mean what they say?

Like in all aspects of life too. Lovers, friends, family. Like in all aspects.

It is the biggest reason we don’t trust people. I mean how many times have any of you trusted someone, and they failed in devastating measures? In probably every aspect of your life as well?

And like I get it, I know someone who is doing some shady shit gonna say, cause I don’t want to hurt the other person. Hey, I have said that too. That protective demeanor, yet it is really destructive. I know it is hard sometimes to have those truth talks, but really we need to start having them.

I look back at all my relationships, and I know I sit here single cause I don’t want to lay next to someone in which I have to question their intentions. And it isn’t like I don’t make attempts, but I have yet to come across a man in the dating world that holds these, what should be, core values.

Friendships are the one that is the most complex of all of them for me. Mainly because I am closed off really but just to a few select people. Most of them from hometown, and have known for a lifetime, and the select other few that have been able to handle my crazy ass. Doesn’t mean that I haven’t picked up a few along the way that had to be left in memory. Doesn’t really matter the reasons, or the whys, because at the end of the day – none of that matters. What I never did understand is why two women could be incredibly close one day, and because some thing was said, or done, and someone gets mad or offended, people run off and talk shit about each other, instead of saying what you have to say to each other. USE YOUR WORDS. And I know a lot of women do this. I would rather my friend and I have discuss this shit, and work it out – then do destroy the relationship? Even in the relationships that have fallen, and someone asks me about that person – I always respond the same way.

“We don’t talk anymore, but I wish her the best, I will always love her”

We do not have to cut each other down to makes ourselves look better.

And when you have friends and a relationship, sometimes you are just hoping no one gets too close. Ya, that has happened to me, and it only has to happen to you once before you get nervous about having your boyfriend around your friends. And like what kind of fucking life is that? Like I wanna hang out with all my peoples without having to worry about someone trying to play after hour poker.

Cheating seems to be so common. Sex no longer has emotional attachment. Everyone trying to fulfill some type of fantasy – and yet maybe if they had these conversations with their partner – maybe they would find out, they had what they were looking for the whole time..

That is where that, don’t toss a diamond looking for a rock saying comes from. The constant seeking of satisfaction, yet never achieving it, because you never take the time to appreciate love and accept a person on a different level.

I know I said to an ex one day “I don’t even know who you are, you don’t even know who you are”. When we live in a constant lie, the people around you don’t know who you are – this creates chaos.

This distrust in each that we have can only be repaired by starting within ourselves. Let’s get back to having conversations. Let’s get back to some of those core values. Let’s start being truthful. Let’s own up to the crazy shit we do.

Let’s build each other up. Not tear each other down. Life is hard – our relationships shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t have to question each other’s intentions day in day out. Stop the madness.

Social Media Selling – Pushy Post Rant

Pushy Sales

Listen y’all, I appreciate a person pushing the products that they believe in.

But if a person tells you they are broke, it most likely means that in fact they are broke.

I support anyone who is working and putting forth effort for better days, but you don’t have to be pushy in order to do so.

A good product, a valuable product – it will sell itself.   You push people away when you are being pushy.

Thank you though 🙂

close up of human hand
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

WTF Am I doing With My Life

Wtf Am I doing With my Life?

Well honestly – I have no dam idea.

The thing you have to understand is that my life for 18 years was focused on being a mother – and trying to figure out how to manage to put food on the table every night.

My life was in fast forward for 18 years – and I was in and out of bad relationships the entire time.

I am discovering who I am.  I had my daughter young – 18 – including marrying her father, then after that marriage failed – married an abusive man.  The men in my life were barely ever around.  So as far as taking care of my child, and my home – that was left on me – and shit was hard.

Right now – a lot of that stress has been lifted.  Yes, still financially struggling – but we are all.  Not having a negative voice in my ear over the past few years has allowed me the opportunity to really be able to take my ideas, and my thoughts and express them in ways I would have never been able to do before for fear of those negative words cutting my thoughts and ideas down as though they were dumb.  My insecurities are going away – and I am discovering I’m actually a badass.

And that ladies and gentlemen is amazing.

So please excuse me while I figure me out.

Currently I’m under construction.

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And here comes the emotional momma side

My baby is getting married.

And her dad is the one that told the boy yes.

😒He just giving her away.

Like the boy actually asks and you had the moment of authority to throw a tantrum and yet you simply say “I guess”

😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

And I know at the end of the day they gonna do what they want but still.

You say “I guess”

I guess it’s a good thing ur the dad cause I would have totally stomped through the house thrown myself on the floor and completely pouted to scare him off.

Which we still happen but like the boy been around too long he already comes to expect it so like I am helpless.

You kidnapping theif and I guess giving away our baby, baby Daddy. 😒😒😒😒😒😒

😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😝

😒😒😒

😒

😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Homemade Love

Yes around here, even wedding decor is homemade. Momma might be broke but we still gonna make it beautiful.

Reclaimed wood.

Left over paint.

Family time activated .

She was not enthused with the heat today. Fall where?

I might not be able to afford the world but I can at least paint her life beautiful 😘

my daughter getting hitched

The Fireworks Then The Explosion ~ Momma Rapper in Her Feels

How many time have you dated someone and like you honestly thought wow this could be the one that changes every perception you have of relationships, love, acceptance, understanding? Only to come to the same conclusion each and every time. Hell now I don’t even give the opportunity for error. I just need candid honest, I can be incredibly understanding of many situations, but not of deception.

I need to lead the next relationship with both feet planted firmly in the right direction.

I just don’t have the energy to have to feel unsteady because of betrayal.

#thebeautifultruth

momma rapper