I don’t understand the obsession with being shady, and this isn’t just for men. Like in general. People in general? I don’t understand why people can’t just say what they mean, and mean what they say?
Like in all aspects of life too. Lovers, friends, family. Like in all aspects.
It is the biggest reason we don’t trust people. I mean how many times have any of you trusted someone, and they failed in devastating measures? In probably every aspect of your life as well?
And like I get it, I know someone who is doing some shady shit gonna say, cause I don’t want to hurt the other person. Hey, I have said that too. That protective demeanor, yet it is really destructive. I know it is hard sometimes to have those truth talks, but really we need to start having them.
I look back at all my relationships, and I know I sit here single cause I don’t want to lay next to someone in which I have to question their intentions. And it isn’t like I don’t make attempts, but I have yet to come across a man in the dating world that holds these, what should be, core values.
Friendships are the one that is the most complex of all of them for me. Mainly because I am closed off really but just to a few select people. Most of them from hometown, and have known for a lifetime, and the select other few that have been able to handle my crazy ass. Doesn’t mean that I haven’t picked up a few along the way that had to be left in memory. Doesn’t really matter the reasons, or the whys, because at the end of the day – none of that matters. What I never did understand is why two women could be incredibly close one day, and because some thing was said, or done, and someone gets mad or offended, people run off and talk shit about each other, instead of saying what you have to say to each other. USE YOUR WORDS. And I know a lot of women do this. I would rather my friend and I have discuss this shit, and work it out – then do destroy the relationship? Even in the relationships that have fallen, and someone asks me about that person – I always respond the same way.
“We don’t talk anymore, but I wish her the best, I will always love her”
We do not have to cut each other down to makes ourselves look better.
And when you have friends and a relationship, sometimes you are just hoping no one gets too close. Ya, that has happened to me, and it only has to happen to you once before you get nervous about having your boyfriend around your friends. And like what kind of fucking life is that? Like I wanna hang out with all my peoples without having to worry about someone trying to play after hour poker.
Cheating seems to be so common. Sex no longer has emotional attachment. Everyone trying to fulfill some type of fantasy – and yet maybe if they had these conversations with their partner – maybe they would find out, they had what they were looking for the whole time..
That is where that, don’t toss a diamond looking for a rock saying comes from. The constant seeking of satisfaction, yet never achieving it, because you never take the time to appreciate love and accept a person on a different level.
I know I said to an ex one day “I don’t even know who you are, you don’t even know who you are”. When we live in a constant lie, the people around you don’t know who you are – this creates chaos.
This distrust in each that we have can only be repaired by starting within ourselves. Let’s get back to having conversations. Let’s get back to some of those core values. Let’s start being truthful. Let’s own up to the crazy shit we do.
Let’s build each other up. Not tear each other down. Life is hard – our relationships shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t have to question each other’s intentions day in day out. Stop the madness.