Love Lies

It really does right?

I mean how many times have you mean in a relationship, and felt as though it was a Firestorm of emotions, only to be left feeling like what the fuck?

Firestorm is a nickname I had given myself for my fierce attitude and flaming red hair.  I mean if you knew me you would really understand.

We will completely and utterly crush our own soul just to have some type of involvement with a man – just so we won’t be alone.  And I know I am not the only female that has done this.  I have legit sat across from a man – and listened to him – while in my head I say to myself  “Why do I subject myself to such a destructive, demeaning, narcissistic dick head?”  And for what?  For that chair not to be empty?

I mean yeah – now – I am like nah – I don’t even want anyone to look at the chair.

But this was kind of along the transitional phase.  Then there is those few attempts I have made at dating.  And let me tell you how the one that was just like wow went.  So yeah – I met a guy on POF – for the sake of the story we will come him Lemon.  Well Lemon and I met for our first date – it went great – like really great – but then came the second date.

And let me tell you how it went downhill so fast.  Now listen there was a dry spell – so yea I had slept with him the first night we met in person.  Jesus I know – I’m a whore.  What ever, we all know half y’all are on Tinder, despite half y’all denying it  And no different then meeting someone at the bar – at least I had talked to him for a while before I let him come to the castle.

Anyways – it was great – then like yea – second date.  Where it all went wrong.  And the aftermath has me, to this day, quite nervous to even test the water in the dating pond.

So we go over to his house and then I realized yep THIS IS WHY I AM FUCKING SINGLE

Like let’s start off with the fact – that him and his mom live together.  Now listen – I get it – no sense in having your own place – financial – etc – BUUUTTT

If you live with your family – and intend on the person staying the night – I don’t know – how the f a woman supposed to be comfortable rocking the rodeo if your momma, is 5 feet down the hall.  Legit, 5 feet.  In a condo.  That he supposedly “co-owned” with his mum.

WHICH WAS A LIE

Now listen ladies.  I have be single for a while.  But dead ass, I don’t give a dam how much fun a man is, if you come through and I cantch you in even the smallest lie, your done.  Like done done done done…  The crazy thing is – if he would have told me he was in a financial bind, I would have understood.  There was nothing to be shameful about.  I struggle, like dam I get it.  There is no shame in struggle, only in deception.

I will never be desperate enough to let a man into my soul with impure intent, deception by any manner goes to the quality of your morals.  If you “casually” lie – I know what you are about.  And the truth always comes out – cause I am fkng paying attention.

But it didn’t stop there.  I mean I could almost understand why he wouldn’t have been forthcoming with that, due to ego.

Nah – that would be too easy right.  The second failed moment – was when I was asking a question about the mural on the wall in the hallway – and he had disregarded it and actually said “shut up”.  Like wow ass – like I am trying to learn – I am trying to engage – and you are just like shutting me down.  Now he was laughing when he said it – but he wasn’t really playing, and you could tell – cause he changed the subject immediately to an interest that better suited him.  Like my ass.  Which yea it is pretty dam great – but I like engagement on more than a physical matter, so when you shut me down with something that is sexually related, I knew what he was about.

And here is the thing, I have already went through a controlling relationship – I have healed, so the first sign of control is shutting down, or belittling someone so that they feel weak and unloved, so that they never leave.  It is manipulation at it’s finest.  And I am not the type of woman – this has to be done to.  I don’t need a variety pack of men to feel happiness. Clearly I have none, and I am incredibly happy without – so unless you are able to let me be who I am and enjoy life, then you won’t be in my life.  #facts

 

 

 

 

 

WTF Fried Banana Butter Pecan Homemade Ice Cream Recipe???

Fried Banana Butter Pecan Ice Cream

OOOooooo ICE CREAM

So a little history on ice cream – I am about that life.  There is never not a good time for ice cream.  I mean seriously, ice cream is one of the most universal foods in the world.  And the options are endless, especially when you make it at home.

Now the recipe is suited for me, and my diet.  This was also made on my cheat day – but can also be made to suite the keto diet – by omitting the banana and the agave, replace with stevia.

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The concept is pretty simple – fry up some fruit and nuts, and add to some heavy whipping cream.

In the video attached, you will see the making of this beautiful creation.

Yes the video is rough – but it is real.  It also goes into the very small details that makes a difference.

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Ingredients:

Cream:

6 ounces of heavy whipping cream

2 tbsp of sugar free hazelnut (works good with vanilla too)

Fried Fruits and Nuts:

1 cap of vanilla (this is what I typically always use for recipes)

1 banana

1/4 cup of pecans

1/4 cup of almonds

1/4 cup of coconut

2 tbsp of sweet cream butter

Melt butter in frying pan over medium high heat.  Once melted and heated add your almond slices, and chopped pecans, let it cook for a few minutes to soften.  Roughly 4-6 minutes.  Then you will add your vanilla, coconut, and banana.  Continue to fry for a few minutes allowing them to crisp a little on each side.

While this is frying – go ahead and prep your cream base by simply mixing your creamer and your heavy whipping cream.  I put this in the freezer for a few minutes – then whip it up, but not to a full whip, just slightly before.

Whip It

Put your fried fruits and nuts in the bottom of a pan, pour cream over, cover and set in freezer until firm.

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Bam – fried banana butter pecan tropical ice cream.

Because I wanted to.

HAHAHAHA

 

Fancy Bread Recipe The Carb Catering Tales

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Oh no, it is the horrible carb loaded bad boy BREAD hahahaha.  I know, I know – I can hear you ask yourself – but she is on modified keto, what is she doing with this delicate looking delight?  Well because not everyone is on keto, and because it’s important for a wide range of palettes, plus; BALANCE people.  I have shared and I will not lie, I do; from time to time have carbs in my diet.  Is it the norm?  Of course not; diets work best when you actually follow them, but I am in this long term, and to look at someone and say that I will never put a slice of bread or a bowl of pasta in my belly from time to time, would just be a bold faced lie.  I have control over that though, I have control over what is on plate.  My diet is a lifestyle.  Breads, carbs, sugars, they are treats now, and not a part of my daily diet, and that is how I have balanced my diet.

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This is your typical cuban bread from Walmart – for I think 2.00.  The rest is stuff I had in the fridge.  This is the bread we would often make with spaghetti or lasagna or any of those other carb filled friends.

The thing is this is more of a technique and tweaking than anything else.  Now you could easily just throw some butter and cheese on top of the bread – but then where is the fun in trying new things? Plus, in my experience, once you have this bread – you really won’t want it any other way.

Things you will need:

1 loaf of cuban bread

1tbsp of heavy whipping cream

4 tbsp of unsalted sweet cream butter

1 cup of shredded sharp white cheddar

1/4 cup of shredded sharp cheddar (yellow)

1 tsp (or more depending on taste) of garlic salt

dash of parsley

You can adjust the recipe as you prefer to taste.  The first step I generally do before I start cooking the rest of the meal.  You will mix the garlic, white cheddar cheese, heavy whipping cream, butter on the stove over medium high heat – just long enough for everything to melt.  This shouldn’t take too long, just stirring and mixing until well combined and melted together.  Take off stove, pour into a covered dish and place into fridge.

Great now you made yourself some cheese butter!

I know simple right – a 5 minute little thing that turns an okkaayyy garlic bread into a satisfying and seductive delight that is slightly addictive.

When you are ready to toast the bread.

Now that the cheese butter is solid and can be scooped out like butter – apply to the top of the cuban bread.  I generally just scoop out about 1 tbsp in even sections, and coat – then go back over to add any remaining.  You can decide how much coverage – I like it messy, so I scoop mountains.  Don’t judge me, if I am going to ingest carbs – I am gonna have them how I want them hahahaha.

Here is another preference point, I like a soft centered bread with a crunchy and cheesy top.  I only top broil on high heat.  You can decide what you want to do here.  If you like a soft top and crunchy bottom, baking at 400 will get you there. So really at this step – decide where you want the crunch – and go with the setting on the stove that will get you to your desired crunch, and preheat.  And if you like crunch on both – then run your oven at 400 for the first 7-10 minutes, then broil on high for 5-7 minutes.

Put your cheesy hot mess in the oven.  And cook until the cheese starts to bubble.  I know wth??? Right at the best part??? I know I know.  But remember that 1/4 of sharp yellow cheddar?  Yea – more cheese.  Take your bread that is just a few minutes away from being done, and sprinkle the yellow cheese over the white mixture.  Just lightly coated.  Stick it back in the oven till you get the top how you prefer.  Generally no more than 10-15 minutes total.

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Sprinkle the tops with some parsley and serve on up.

 

Your family will thank you.

 

Happy Carb Catering Day!

 

P.S.  Am I the only one that loves the burnt cheese slide off from oven baked foods?  Cause I am about that life!

Changing Cheese Sauce – The Kicking Keto Recipe – DO YOU DARE?

The Yum Yum 

Yea, you heard me, and if you are following me on IG, or FB then you already know what is up!!!!

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The Changing Cheese Sauce has forever changed my life. I make 95% of my meals at home.  Not only can I cook, but finances are tight – and eating out – it’s expensive.  And to be honest – the only time I don’t eat at home is when I splurge for a hoagie from Wawa.  Yea – a hoagie.  The wheat one.  Yes I am on keto.  Modified keto, and I eat grains, typically two times a week.  That hoagie is my payday special – and has been for the better of two years now.  All $5.69 of it!! Balling on a budget.

Anyways back to this deliciousness of cheese.

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I call it the changing cheese sauce – because one little trick – and bam a completely difference sauce.

The best thing about this recipe – is you make it yours.

It is pretty basic, and easy too, so for families – it’s perfect.

It is a 4 ingredient sauce
My Changing Cheese Sauce is as followed:
1/2 a stick of unsalted REAL butter.  Walmart has 4 sticks for just ver  $3. Comes is salted or unsalted, I only ever buy unsalted out of preference.
1 bag of shredded cheese of ur choice, hence the changing cheese sauce because this is really a simple and universal recipe. The recipe pictured is white sharp cheddar. Again, Walmart for just over 2.00. U can use as much cheese here depending on how cheesy or soupy u want it. This was made with just a little over half a bag.
Heavy Whipping cream. This will depend on how much u are making. Since I have an empty nest, I make generally no more than 8 ounces, which I always have some left over. A small carton of hwc is just over 2.00 at walmart. If u are feeding a family I suggest modifying it according to that. If u decide to use a full container of hwc for a family, make sure u add more cheese ♡♡
The last and probably most important ingredient is Weber Roasted Garlic and Herb Seasoning. I use about 2 tbsp, but I love garlic.
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I take the butter and the seasoning and melt it in a pot together, then I pour in the hwc and then the cheese. Stir until completely melted down. Make sure u watch it cause it does cook kind of quick on medium high heat. Roughly around 5 minutes.
The bam pour it over ur favorite foods. I also pour over chicken in the oven and broil it to make a cheesy crust
This is a keto friendly recipe but can be for all others as well.
Happy Grubbing Yall!!

Why Do We Stay In Dead End Relationships?

Probably for the same reason we stay in dead end jobs.  Partly because we are lazy, and partly because it is comfortable.  I speak from experience.  I mean how many times does a man need to screw up before I am like okay – you need to go?  Apparently quite a bit.

I have been trying to figure that question out for some time now.  Being alone – it takes work.  I mean sleeping alone in itself can be scary.  Not to mention the feeling of abandonment when your used to your phone being blown up day in and day out.

We stay hopeful too.  Like oh, he made a mistake, but he is going to change.  And then as women we feel like we are raising this boy into a man – so we feel accomplished.  What I have realized though – is when you have to be the boy’s momma – he will always make mistakes – and you will always be left cleaning up the mess.

How many times have you been disrespected in any capacity – and yet stayed – and have you ever asked yourself why?

I have come to know my reasons, and I will be candid.

First off – I like comfortable.  From everything in life to my jammies to my relationship.  I want a man to fit my lifestyle like a glove, don’t complicate shit for me – it will irritate me.

Secondly I never felt like I deserved more than what was in front of me.  OMG I know, but hey self-realization is hard – but when you become honest with yourself – your life starts to come together.

Third – I am lazy – I would rather comfortable and knowing that the person in front of me is an ass hole over the next one that I don’t know – and I don’t know what they bring to the table – cause God knows the other switch outs didn’t play too good in my favor in the past.

Fourth – loneliness used to scare the shit out of me.  Now I rather enjoy it – and often find that now it takes more work to be social than to be alone.  This one is the hardest. Often times, we as women, we don’t give ourselves enough credit.  I guess maybe from the teachings of Adam and Eve, we as women feel like we need a man to thrive, to survive, but I am here to tell you – I have been alone for the past 2 years – and it has been the hardest, most rewarding 2 years of my life.  Learning to be alone – you realize how to love yourself.

Now the benefit to the 4th, is that when you are left alone, on your own, you learn your true strengths, and with that – the other 3 get cancelled out.

Being alone isn’t for the weak – cause God knows there would be times to where I didn’t feel like I could go on any longer alone, but you stay with your grind, and you figure shit out.  The fear that I have now is that I am so happy in my own little world that I won’t let a man be a part of it hahahaha – they have a tendency to ruin things for me. Hahaha.

Relationships take work – but I have to tell all you beautiful bitches a secret.

People only treat you how you allow them to treat you.

Yea you heard me.  PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO.

Repeat it again PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO

Speak up for yourself .  USE YOUR WORDS.  Express your feelings, we need to work on our own communication skills before we can expect our spouses to do the same.

We have become a society in which we are in constant need of fixing other people’s life – we don’t realize our own life needs some fixing.

Start with YOU, cause I promise in your quest to repair yourself – people filter themselves out naturally!!!!!!

Have a fabulous day my friends.IMG_20180919_201935_891

 

 

 

 

Goaldigging Together – Team Effort – Momma Rapper

The thing about goal digging is that you will hear people say, including myself from time to time, that saying “I don’t need anybody”.

Well we feel like this, often times because there isn’t a supportive base.  There is so much struggle in the world, but if I see a friend trying to showcase their talent – then I am going to do my best to lift them up, regardless of how the result comes for me.  When we help each other – it sets a snowball effect of boosting each other up, it makes people feel good.  You should never expect anything in return, if we care about each other – then we care about each other’s passion.

Sometimes it is so simple to make a huge impact in someone’s life, one that doesn’t cost you anything.

It only causes you a share after you read this.  I pay attention – I pay it forward, and notice the ones that have been there along the way.

Sharing a friend’s vision or dream – that means the world.  And even if we don’t know each other – if you are here reading – I hope you share your vision with the world, and I hope your friends and family help you rise along the way.

Lets rise together.

Yea I Got Dreams – Momma Rapping

Making Music Move ~ A Man on the Rise ~ An Up & Coming Artist Hitting the Rap Scene

And who would have even fucking knew? Not me? Why because I wasn’t paying attention. And like HOW tf NOONE gonna tell me about it?

Like what’s up hills? Like I didn’t see that shit on the school website? Like come on now. Like why am I always the last to know?

Like let me tell yall something too. Even when this man messaged me, I curbed him.

I hate to admit it, I didn’t even look at his profile. It’s instagram, it doesn’t say who it is.

And I’m so focused on me right now, I said thanks and kept moving.

He was actually telling me good job on my music. I was appreciative and very thankful but in my experience on Instagram, soon he would tell me he was stationed in Afghanistan and needs a wife soon after I picked up on his broken English even though he was from Michigan ???? So anyways yeah kept it moving.

For some time too.

Till the next message.

Now as you can see there is over 2 weeks in those messages but then he said that, and I was like hold the fks up. Who is you??? So investigative Annie came out to play and discovered this is my middle thru high school friend Herbert. Now I am sure this is his preferred name, however I called him Herby.

The crazy thing is, this boy he was smart and discovered still very driven into his dreams although different in ways that I would come to discover.

We have been out of school for close to 20 years. I know, I know ladies, reality tho. The last time I seen him, was so long ago, it’s rather blurry but he was in a white sedan that was broke down and he had no time to deal with visiting at that moment. And we never seen each other again.

We were pretty close in school so I was super happy to connect once again.

But then I discovered he does this all music thing.

He writes music like whhhaaattt???

So he sends me some of his music and I’m completely fucking took back. Like dam homie air high five cause like you done went through some shit and now you speaking on some real shit.

And like it’s pretty bad ass having a friend that shares artistic talents.

I hope y’all give him a go.

And share it up please.

Small town people, rarely make it out and up, let’s help him rise yall. Support me, by supporting him, and I will see and support you too in your endeavors

#letselivate

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A Man On the Rise

Watch Him Rise

Up in Dreams

Apple Candy

Remember Me

The Fireworks Then The Explosion ~ Momma Rapper in Her Feels

How many time have you dated someone and like you honestly thought wow this could be the one that changes every perception you have of relationships, love, acceptance, understanding? Only to come to the same conclusion each and every time. Hell now I don’t even give the opportunity for error. I just need candid honest, I can be incredibly understanding of many situations, but not of deception.

I need to lead the next relationship with both feet planted firmly in the right direction.

I just don’t have the energy to have to feel unsteady because of betrayal.

#thebeautifultruth

momma rapper

Running Game? You thought! My Relationship Revenge

Running Game

Ever had someone who you were with that thought they were running game?  But you had already known – and in fact were running game every since you had found out?

I am a reactive person.  So however you treat me – you are going to get it back.

Now I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but I consider it more of a life lesson.  I came into a relationship with honesty and loyalty.  I catch you slipping, and I am going to make you feel stupid.

I make sure that person knows too.  I only play along for a certain amount of time, then bam! I bust it wide open with the truth, including what I was doing.

Kind of goes like this:

Him:  Hey baby

Me: Heyyyy

Him:  Wanted to see if you could swing by tonight.

Me:  Oh, yea sure, but it would have to be after this date.

Him:  What date – what the fuck are you talking about?

Me:  Oh, so you know how you had went to the movies with Tammy 3 weeks ago?  Yea I heard that movie was pretty good, so when Jarrod asked me on a date – I figured I would watch the same one.

Him:  What the fuck?  Who is Tammy, what the fuck are you talking about.

Me:  sends picture

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Photo by Nathan Engel on Pexels.com

 

Him:  Look she is just a friend.

Me:  Oh yea and so is Jarrod, but really hoping to make him a friend with benefits.

Him:  You’re a fucking bitch.

Me:  Yes I know – maybe next time you will think twice before you take your date to the movies where 1 of my (900) cousins works at.

Yes I know it is awful.  But someone needs to turn this little boys into men, and maybe they will at least think twice before next time.

We all know he still looking over his back.

HAHAHA

Boy BYE!

 

 

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