No limits…..
Fancy Bread Recipe The Carb Catering Tales
Oh no, it is the horrible carb loaded bad boy BREAD hahahaha. I know, I know – I can hear you ask yourself – but she is on modified keto, what is she doing with this delicate looking delight? Well because not everyone is on keto, and because it’s important for a wide range of palettes, plus; BALANCE people. I have shared and I will not lie, I do; from time to time have carbs in my diet. Is it the norm? Of course not; diets work best when you actually follow them, but I am in this long term, and to look at someone and say that I will never put a slice of bread or a bowl of pasta in my belly from time to time, would just be a bold faced lie. I have control over that though, I have control over what is on plate. My diet is a lifestyle. Breads, carbs, sugars, they are treats now, and not a part of my daily diet, and that is how I have balanced my diet.
This is your typical cuban bread from Walmart – for I think 2.00. The rest is stuff I had in the fridge. This is the bread we would often make with spaghetti or lasagna or any of those other carb filled friends.
The thing is this is more of a technique and tweaking than anything else. Now you could easily just throw some butter and cheese on top of the bread – but then where is the fun in trying new things? Plus, in my experience, once you have this bread – you really won’t want it any other way.
Things you will need:
1 loaf of cuban bread
1tbsp of heavy whipping cream
4 tbsp of unsalted sweet cream butter
1 cup of shredded sharp white cheddar
1/4 cup of shredded sharp cheddar (yellow)
1 tsp (or more depending on taste) of garlic salt
dash of parsley
You can adjust the recipe as you prefer to taste. The first step I generally do before I start cooking the rest of the meal. You will mix the garlic, white cheddar cheese, heavy whipping cream, butter on the stove over medium high heat – just long enough for everything to melt. This shouldn’t take too long, just stirring and mixing until well combined and melted together. Take off stove, pour into a covered dish and place into fridge.
Great now you made yourself some cheese butter!
I know simple right – a 5 minute little thing that turns an okkaayyy garlic bread into a satisfying and seductive delight that is slightly addictive.
When you are ready to toast the bread.
Now that the cheese butter is solid and can be scooped out like butter – apply to the top of the cuban bread. I generally just scoop out about 1 tbsp in even sections, and coat – then go back over to add any remaining. You can decide how much coverage – I like it messy, so I scoop mountains. Don’t judge me, if I am going to ingest carbs – I am gonna have them how I want them hahahaha.
Here is another preference point, I like a soft centered bread with a crunchy and cheesy top. I only top broil on high heat. You can decide what you want to do here. If you like a soft top and crunchy bottom, baking at 400 will get you there. So really at this step – decide where you want the crunch – and go with the setting on the stove that will get you to your desired crunch, and preheat. And if you like crunch on both – then run your oven at 400 for the first 7-10 minutes, then broil on high for 5-7 minutes.
Put your cheesy hot mess in the oven. And cook until the cheese starts to bubble. I know wth??? Right at the best part??? I know I know. But remember that 1/4 of sharp yellow cheddar? Yea – more cheese. Take your bread that is just a few minutes away from being done, and sprinkle the yellow cheese over the white mixture. Just lightly coated. Stick it back in the oven till you get the top how you prefer. Generally no more than 10-15 minutes total.
Sprinkle the tops with some parsley and serve on up.
Your family will thank you.
Happy Carb Catering Day!
P.S. Am I the only one that loves the burnt cheese slide off from oven baked foods? Cause I am about that life!
Changing Cheese Sauce – The Kicking Keto Recipe – DO YOU DARE?
Yea, you heard me, and if you are following me on IG, or FB then you already know what is up!!!!
The Changing Cheese Sauce has forever changed my life. I make 95% of my meals at home. Not only can I cook, but finances are tight – and eating out – it’s expensive. And to be honest – the only time I don’t eat at home is when I splurge for a hoagie from Wawa. Yea – a hoagie. The wheat one. Yes I am on keto. Modified keto, and I eat grains, typically two times a week. That hoagie is my payday special – and has been for the better of two years now. All $5.69 of it!! Balling on a budget.
Anyways back to this deliciousness of cheese.
I call it the changing cheese sauce – because one little trick – and bam a completely difference sauce.
The best thing about this recipe – is you make it yours.
It is pretty basic, and easy too, so for families – it’s perfect.
It is a 4 ingredient sauce
My Changing Cheese Sauce is as followed:
1/2 a stick of unsalted REAL butter. Walmart has 4 sticks for just ver $3. Comes is salted or unsalted, I only ever buy unsalted out of preference.
1 bag of shredded cheese of ur choice, hence the changing cheese sauce because this is really a simple and universal recipe. The recipe pictured is white sharp cheddar. Again, Walmart for just over 2.00. U can use as much cheese here depending on how cheesy or soupy u want it. This was made with just a little over half a bag.
Heavy Whipping cream. This will depend on how much u are making. Since I have an empty nest, I make generally no more than 8 ounces, which I always have some left over. A small carton of hwc is just over 2.00 at walmart. If u are feeding a family I suggest modifying it according to that. If u decide to use a full container of hwc for a family, make sure u add more cheese ♡♡
The last and probably most important ingredient is Weber Roasted Garlic and Herb Seasoning. I use about 2 tbsp, but I love garlic.
I take the butter and the seasoning and melt it in a pot together, then I pour in the hwc and then the cheese. Stir until completely melted down. Make sure u watch it cause it does cook kind of quick on medium high heat. Roughly around 5 minutes.
The bam pour it over ur favorite foods. I also pour over chicken in the oven and broil it to make a cheesy crust
This is a keto friendly recipe but can be for all others as well.
Happy Grubbing Yall!!
Buying a house… Hopefully….
After almost 3 long years, I finally got my credit where it needs to be.
We are going into the final buying stages with the house and I’m freaking.
Closing costs 😐
It’s been incredibly difficult for me to get this far, and I’m so close, so any help would be greatly appreciated. This would dramatically change our life.
Our monthly payment would go down from $1025 it is now, down to around $700 a month with insurance and taxes.
We would get closer to being able to fill that fridge.
Even if you can’t donate, please share.
I appreciate it so much. 😘
WTF Fried Banana Butter Pecan Homemade Ice Cream Recipe???
Fried Banana Butter Pecan Ice Cream
OOOooooo ICE CREAM
So a little history on ice cream – I am about that life. There is never not a good time for ice cream. I mean seriously, ice cream is one of the most universal foods in the world. And the options are endless, especially when you make it at home.
Now the recipe is suited for me, and my diet. This was also made on my cheat day – but can also be made to suite the keto diet – by omitting the banana and the agave, replace with stevia.
The concept is pretty simple – fry up some fruit and nuts, and add to some heavy whipping cream.
In the video attached, you will see the making of this beautiful creation.
Yes the video is rough – but it is real. It also goes into the very small details that makes a difference.
Ingredients:
Cream:
6 ounces of heavy whipping cream
2 tbsp of sugar free hazelnut (works good with vanilla too)
Fried Fruits and Nuts:
1 cap of vanilla (this is what I typically always use for recipes)
1 banana
1/4 cup of pecans
1/4 cup of almonds
1/4 cup of coconut
2 tbsp of sweet cream butter
Melt butter in frying pan over medium high heat. Once melted and heated add your almond slices, and chopped pecans, let it cook for a few minutes to soften. Roughly 4-6 minutes. Then you will add your vanilla, coconut, and banana. Continue to fry for a few minutes allowing them to crisp a little on each side.
While this is frying – go ahead and prep your cream base by simply mixing your creamer and your heavy whipping cream. I put this in the freezer for a few minutes – then whip it up, but not to a full whip, just slightly before.
Put your fried fruits and nuts in the bottom of a pan, pour cream over, cover and set in freezer until firm.
Bam – fried banana butter pecan tropical ice cream.
Because I wanted to.
HAHAHAHA
Coffee in My Pocket – Funny Video
I average anywhere from 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I get freaking tired. I love me some dam coffee. Doesn’t matter what part of the day. All day – every day. I typically have to discipline myself to stick to only having it in the morning.
Coffee In My Pocket – Wawa Edition
But like I had to go get my rent money – and Wawa was smelling some type of good with their coffee brewing asses. I walk in – with just the intention of getting my money out their free ATM – and I walk in the door – and it smells like fresh brew. Ass holes. I mean I got the sugar free coffee – but the carb content even in the little one is still higher than I would have liked – but like it’s coffee. I deserved it – I have peddled and waddled my fat ass through 146 miles this month.
I enjoyed every dam sip of it too.
Friday Night Fowl
The Anxiety Antidote
Some of you may think anxiety can be controlled by thought or emotion – and to some degree yes it can be. I utilize methods like meditation, breathing exercises to keep them at bay.
Unless I have a bad one. I have closet anxiety. One the surface I look controlled, solid. On this inside it is like a million minions going into different directions all at the same time.
When you have anxiety – sometimes you can really be the toxic one in the relationship.
Now, let me explain. Cause I know some of y’all like whhhhaaaaaaattt tttttthhhhhheeeee fuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk she just say.
I have anxiety, and I know I can be toxic in a relationship.
I am one of those to where when I feel fine, everything is fine, but when I am upset – everything makes me upset.
And I mean everything. And for a man, that is a lot to deal with. I am not super emotional – but I get snappy. Pissy. Attitude. Everyone’s anxiety is different – and I know my condition crippled most of the relationships, but because I was with the wrong kind of person.
The problem is, that never once I have I ever had a man take the time to even try to pinpoint the issue, or even just accept the fact that it was just an episode, and cuddle me, instead of responding with more negativity.
I know sounds complex right. Like how is a pissy woman asking a man to cuddle her when she is being a bitch. Well because – that fixes it.
When someone is dealing with their anxiety – they just need someone to talk them through it.
For every person it is different, but if your spouse has anxiety – I will give you a few pointers that would have helped me.
- Take some of the work off of their back. If they are in the kitchen doing the dishes, and appear to be in an episode, grab the sponge, and tell them to go take their cranky ass to bed, or go get in the bath.
- If they wake up cranky, cuddle them. Make their coffee for them – it is like a switch – showing that thoughtfulness – can really change a person’s outlook for the day.
- Reassurance. I have dealt with a lot, I don’t need constant reassurance – but I do appreciate a man that can say “you are the one” and actually mean it. Someone with anxiety – typically never feels good enough – so this helps them cope with that.
- Do NOT use the condition against them. We are already self-conscious about it – we don’t need you to put it out to make us feel even worse about ourselves.
- Know that even though, I am a strong woman, like most people with anxiety, and I got me 95% – that 5% is when I need a soft hand on my shoulder.
- Don’t make fun of us. I often stutter when I am upset. I stutter because sometimes I get incredibly excited, and the words just come out all fucked up. I don’t need someone poking fun at that.
- Be loving, and kind.
I have accepted my condition, and I deal with it.
This is the main reason why I will NOT have a man in my life that brings frustration, or aggravation. I physically cannot handle that, nor do I want to.
To be honest, it is pretty easy to help someone through an episode, you just have to take the time to listen, to care, and to love.
Then it passes, just like all storms.
Why Do We Stay In Dead End Relationships?
Probably for the same reason we stay in dead end jobs. Partly because we are lazy, and partly because it is comfortable. I speak from experience. I mean how many times does a man need to screw up before I am like okay – you need to go? Apparently quite a bit.
I have been trying to figure that question out for some time now. Being alone – it takes work. I mean sleeping alone in itself can be scary. Not to mention the feeling of abandonment when your used to your phone being blown up day in and day out.
We stay hopeful too. Like oh, he made a mistake, but he is going to change. And then as women we feel like we are raising this boy into a man – so we feel accomplished. What I have realized though – is when you have to be the boy’s momma – he will always make mistakes – and you will always be left cleaning up the mess.
How many times have you been disrespected in any capacity – and yet stayed – and have you ever asked yourself why?
I have come to know my reasons, and I will be candid.
First off – I like comfortable. From everything in life to my jammies to my relationship. I want a man to fit my lifestyle like a glove, don’t complicate shit for me – it will irritate me.
Secondly I never felt like I deserved more than what was in front of me. OMG I know, but hey self-realization is hard – but when you become honest with yourself – your life starts to come together.
Third – I am lazy – I would rather comfortable and knowing that the person in front of me is an ass hole over the next one that I don’t know – and I don’t know what they bring to the table – cause God knows the other switch outs didn’t play too good in my favor in the past.
Fourth – loneliness used to scare the shit out of me. Now I rather enjoy it – and often find that now it takes more work to be social than to be alone. This one is the hardest. Often times, we as women, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. I guess maybe from the teachings of Adam and Eve, we as women feel like we need a man to thrive, to survive, but I am here to tell you – I have been alone for the past 2 years – and it has been the hardest, most rewarding 2 years of my life. Learning to be alone – you realize how to love yourself.
Now the benefit to the 4th, is that when you are left alone, on your own, you learn your true strengths, and with that – the other 3 get cancelled out.
Being alone isn’t for the weak – cause God knows there would be times to where I didn’t feel like I could go on any longer alone, but you stay with your grind, and you figure shit out. The fear that I have now is that I am so happy in my own little world that I won’t let a man be a part of it hahahaha – they have a tendency to ruin things for me. Hahaha.
Relationships take work – but I have to tell all you beautiful bitches a secret.
People only treat you how you allow them to treat you.
Yea you heard me. PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO.
Repeat it again PEOPLE ONLY TREAT YOU HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO
Speak up for yourself . USE YOUR WORDS. Express your feelings, we need to work on our own communication skills before we can expect our spouses to do the same.
We have become a society in which we are in constant need of fixing other people’s life – we don’t realize our own life needs some fixing.
Start with YOU, cause I promise in your quest to repair yourself – people filter themselves out naturally!!!!!!
Have a fabulous day my friends.
My Turmoil Over The Truth – The Deeper Side
Yes, for me, there is turmoil over the truth.
You see, I am very much a truth seeker. And not just in the relationship sector of my life, in just about any aspect of my life. I mean I can read an article, and if it sounds a little off, I am verifying, and researching. I mean, part of that is why I am good at my regular job. I am incredibly analytical, and that ladies and gents is a huge issue in relationships.
Most of my jobs have surrounded around finding errors, or missing links between data. Now I am not saying that I don’t make mistakes, I am human, and often times when typing – I am thinking so fast – that sometimes I miss words, or I may have a grammar error from time to time. I have a fast paced life, along with a phone that is on its last leg – with plenty of broken glass that I take a risk my life on every time I am on it. Hey times are tough, and really I am able to accomplish the things I need to, so all is well for now.
Now take that error finding personality and apply that to your home. Now if honesty and integrity in relationships was still a valid thing, then this probably wouldn’t be an issue; however, I become almost a challenge to a man. And we all know how men love a challenge. Like, hmm, she good – let’s see how good, let me see what I can actually get away with before she catches on.
Well not very far. You see, when a women tells you she is analytical – pay attention to that – because that means that by nature, even if she seems like she isn’t paying attention, she is. This translates to knowing your schedule/ routine, and close to the minute.
Well you might be thinking – well okay – most people do. Yea – well do you know many minutes your spouse’s shower is,or how long it takes them to cook breakfast? Basically being able to walk through their life in my own eyes, but for me, it translates to numbers.
I don’t even do it intentionally – and it isn’t immediate or overnight – it is the repetition of events that stick to my brain. It isn’t like I am calculating either, but certain things correlate for me. For example, if you listen to music in the shower, you listen to 3 songs, depending on the type of music – typically you can expect most songs to be between 3.5 to 5 minutes in length, so typically you can expect your shower to be between 10.5 to 15 minutes in length. It’s the correlation that makes markers in my brain.
To further that, when people speak to me, my brain is in auto pilot and draws out a picture in my head of the events taking place, and typically can pick out errors in stories. I don’t know – it is verbal connectivity. I love it for work purposes – and hate it when it comes to my own personal life.
Yea – I said that – because sometimes ignorance is bliss. Maybe if I was living in a world where deception wasn’t the new truth – then yea it wouldn’t be an issue. And like I get it. There is so many outlets available to people to pursue infidelity. Everyone promising everyone to be better than the last one – but really – it is the chase people love. Not saying there aren’t people out there that find the “one” and live happily ever after – I am just saying there is a group of us in which this is our reality.
I am not being bitter either. How many of you would HONESTLY hand their spouse their phone, and have no concerns what so ever? And I mean complete transparency too? No deleting. If your spouse had access to your data files, and was able to sift through ever since piece of your life on that phone, would you have concerns?
I don’t believe in privacy in a relationship. Yea – yea I know – OMG. How horrible. Say what you want – but if a man is going to be laying next to me, and inside of my body – well then there is no privacy. Sorry not sorry. Not off the bat – but if I am in a long term committed relationship (which is often when this starts happening), then yea. You start acting shady – what’s up – what you doing?
You want privacy with your phone – I am gonna need some privacy with this p*****. I know sounds bitchy – but hey – whatever – it’s my life, and honestly – if you value that phone and what is in it – over your relationship, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
When you are in your twenties you concern yourself with relationships, by the time you get to be my age – late 30s – you just want honesty and security. My pursuit of happiness now most definitely does not include a relationship. I am completely emotionally disconnected from the male population too. Any advances are often not noticed, and even with they are noticed – I promptly reject the idea. Not today Satan. I am not joking either – I have no intention nor want the distraction or frustration that comes with dating. I am not ready – and I don’t have to be.
I want the type of relationship that includes honestly. I want a best friend. Your spouse is the only one that should know the deeper side of you (in all ways hahahahaha).
Have a great week 🙂
I Smell Cakes and Candy 