BLOG POST 09/17/2019 Dam these changes stacking up, but I’m completely excited for this new life.

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You know I’m sitting here sharing my music, in a new home, with a new boyfriend, in a new city that is in a new state with a new car – and I’m just like wow, changes for real.

I think back to where I was a year ago.  Mentally, emotionally…  Hell let’s take that back even further – let’s go 5, but let us dare not go back more than 10 – those pastures are paved in paths of pain.

Talk about changes.  I can’t describe to someone how emotionally restricted I have felt over most of my life.

Some other things have been going on as well.  A lot of self-evaluation – a lot of self-love.  I mean when we strip ourselves down to only yourself – and there is  no one around to feed you negativity – you start feeding yourself, little by little, bit size snacksies of positive encouragement.

Like, legit, I look in the mirror everrrydddaaayyy – and tell myself I am beautiful, I am a bad bitch, I have the power to allow fuckers to fuck with me, retain power for thyself bitccchhhh… Now take that fine ass to work.  hahahahaha – (legit tho)

A few years ago – I wouldn’t even look in the mirror – and now I go live, share music, post videos, give no fucks what kind of negative bullshit comes out someone’s mouth.

Changes….

I stripped myself down to nothing but me, and my thoughts, and you know what I realized?

I’m pretty fucking awesome – and I deserve to be loved ❤ and so do you, even if that someone yourself till you find someone who can top that kind of love (and yea they out there, Gregory, hey babbbyyy)

 

FYI

If no one has told you today,

You are beautiful, strong, and courageous..

All the pain is just making those wings super strong for when it’s time to soar!!!

If they ain’t treating you right – tell em to get the fuck gone.  You owe no – one nothing in this life.  You DO NOT have to subject yourself to pain just so they can be loved.

LOVE YOURSELF

DEMAND RESPECT

LIVE IN PEACE.

 

Thumper 🐇🐇

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The Many Men and Why Women Think They Are All the Same

Partly because most are the same, just in different ways.

Let me explain this.

I don’t believe this is just for women either. I’ve come to know that men often feel these same feelings, that trust is now a thing of the past.

We constantly seek acceptance, however we are never accepting of ourselves. A feeling that often leads us in finding fullfilment in a spouse, which always leads to failed, pressured, heated and intense arguments.

We have become a society that seeks the next big thing. We are constant seekers of improvement but we try to improve in the wrong ways.

Men and women alike look around themselves and looks at their spouse and says, hmm how can I improve who they are to suite my lifestyle? And if they don’t comply, what happens? The seeking begins, looking for one that will comply.

For men, it is often times a physical denial. If a woman doesn’t fulfill a sexual desire, a man will seek it. I have come to know, that often times it isn’t because a man is just horny. Often times it’s because he has a feeling of rejection. For a man, sexual rejection is like a stab in the soul.

Women, they are emotional seekers. So if a woman doesn’t feel emotionally satisfied, she will begin to seek. When a woman gets emotionally shut down, the insecurities begin because she doesn’t feel valued enough to have her opinion mean something. So when a man comes along, with an open ear, she is eager.

Most of the time, we seek to fix each other, instead of fixing ourselves. Then by sticking it out with the wrong ones, we feel like we are stronger, because we accomplished something by modifying someone’s negative behaviors.

What I have noticed too, that yeah we modify their behaviors for sure. They get sneakier, better at their deceptions.

How will you know who you are if you are always modifying who you are to fit someone else’s idolization of who you should be?????? ~ The Momma Rapper

I know I am different, and I’m okay with that. I will continue to be the truth in a false world.

How Dating Could Destroy My Diet

Now this post may come off bitchy, so you must read through to the end to really understand my point of view.  And once you get done, even if you are married, you will most likely understand.

Now you might say to yourself – just because you get involved with someone doesn’t mean you have to kill your diet, but you would be wrong – cause I know how I am.  I know what I am capable of.

I also know how I am in relationships.

Let’s start off with the basics.  From the start – a lot of dates – are surrounded by what?  Yea – food.  Dinner, movies, food.  This is where you start to correlate foods with memories.

Then let’s go into the time.  You see, someone who gets up early in the mornings to workout, well after working all day – I’m too tired to go out.  The weekends come, and I have to take care of things around the house, and spend time with Marley & Leo (my pups).  Now even if I do make the time, guess what happens?  I go out, then go home, then I don’t get enough rest – so then no work out – then I hate you. Hahahaha.

I am also not oblivious to the reality in the success my weight loss either.

IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO LOOSE WEIGHT NOW THAT I AM ALONE

I am a cooking queen.  I love to create, I love to cook for people.  In my house –  before my child became an adult and moved out – we ate dinner at home everyday.  Now that I have an empty nest – I don’t have to cook, and often don’t.  I mean it’s just me – I can make my dinners in a few minutes flat.  My snacks generally consist of cheese or peanut butter but all lchf items.  When I am in a relationship, I use my food to do the seducing for me.  I want to cook at every opportunity to not only showcase my skills, but for level of involvement.  I enjoy an interactive man in the kitchen – but one that is suggestive and not controlling.  It’s fun when you find someone you love to cook with – but then again – that is again the issue – YOU ARE ALWAYS COOKING SO YOU ARE ALWAYS EATING. This goes for moms and dads too.  Children are little food monsters.  They are growing – they need to be fed.  We eat when they eat – so yea – it is harder when you have kids, or in a relationship.

So yea – dating could destroy my diet.

 

adult blur bouquet boy
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Finally on Tampa’s Radar 😂 I am most definitely international before local 🤔

Listen to Jessica M Wilkes – Bitch Code – Momma Rapper.m4a by Momma Rapper #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/jessica-m-wilkes/jessica-m-wilkes-bitch-code