BLOG POST 09/17/2019 Dam these changes stacking up, but I’m completely excited for this new life.

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You know I’m sitting here sharing my music, in a new home, with a new boyfriend, in a new city that is in a new state with a new car – and I’m just like wow, changes for real.

I think back to where I was a year ago.  Mentally, emotionally…  Hell let’s take that back even further – let’s go 5, but let us dare not go back more than 10 – those pastures are paved in paths of pain.

Talk about changes.  I can’t describe to someone how emotionally restricted I have felt over most of my life.

Some other things have been going on as well.  A lot of self-evaluation – a lot of self-love.  I mean when we strip ourselves down to only yourself – and there is  no one around to feed you negativity – you start feeding yourself, little by little, bit size snacksies of positive encouragement.

Like, legit, I look in the mirror everrrydddaaayyy – and tell myself I am beautiful, I am a bad bitch, I have the power to allow fuckers to fuck with me, retain power for thyself bitccchhhh… Now take that fine ass to work.  hahahahaha – (legit tho)

A few years ago – I wouldn’t even look in the mirror – and now I go live, share music, post videos, give no fucks what kind of negative bullshit comes out someone’s mouth.

Changes….

I stripped myself down to nothing but me, and my thoughts, and you know what I realized?

I’m pretty fucking awesome – and I deserve to be loved ❤ and so do you, even if that someone yourself till you find someone who can top that kind of love (and yea they out there, Gregory, hey babbbyyy)

 

FYI

If no one has told you today,

You are beautiful, strong, and courageous..

All the pain is just making those wings super strong for when it’s time to soar!!!

If they ain’t treating you right – tell em to get the fuck gone.  You owe no – one nothing in this life.  You DO NOT have to subject yourself to pain just so they can be loved.

LOVE YOURSELF

DEMAND RESPECT

LIVE IN PEACE.

 

My Deepest Demon for You to See

You know over the past few months if you scroll through my news feed you will notice an incredible transformation, and I’m not talking about the Weightloss I am talking about me coming out of my cacoon.

You see my entire life I held a Secret deep inside. Well that works out great till your daughter and you spend an incredible amount of time together. The older the get, the more they notice. Something you trying to hide, they eventually catch on to, cause God knows my family nosey as hell.

But you see, me rapping was almost like sinful. Not lady like. More for boys, and not a sweet southern mom from the Hills.

But that is me. So I lived this hidden life, shielding everyone from who I am, the thoughts that actually go on in my head.

But you see, this wasn’t talent in my family, there was no voice without tone, so not time was given to craft, what I realized was part of my life as a creative spirit.

I would show the world what was expected from me in the creative sense. Cakes, building, painting, drawing, decorating. I mean these are all things that people can be accepting of.

Be a white fat girl from the sticks and spit some of the shit that comes out my mouth, well you are looked at as mad, dramatic, and untamed. But really, it was my outlet. Probably why I was never happy. What made me truly happy, made people look at me like I was fucking crazy.

Well yeah know what? I am.

I am a good mom.

I am a good daughter

I am spiritual.

And yeah I have a mouth no one can control.

#letmebefreetobeme

Momma Rapper

Goofing around 😂

 

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