I Talk A Lot Of Shit

Funny Video

Uncut and straight forward.  And I most definitely don’t want people who are the same level.

 

Talking Shit

Piping Dreams

It has been a very busy few weeks.  I not only knocked out a few cakes but was dealing with some medical issues 😉 But yay 🙂 back to feeling good 🙂

I would have to say that I have really fallen in love with baking and creating.  While it isn’t new for me to be in the kitchen (y’all know how them thick southern county girls are raised 🙂 haha) it is new for me to combine my creative side with my cooking side on different levels.

I have also enjoyed preparing and serving and watching people take a bite and really enjoy what was just made for them.  Homemade food is so different than fast food.  Being a single mother – going to dinner was a rare occurrence anyways – so most meals were cooked at home for my Turkey (daughter).  I have learned a lot over the years – and I always kind of looked at it like science.  For anyone that really does like to create new recipes – yes there is science involved. If you don’t know how certain chemicals react to certain tempatures, conditions, climate, lighting, blah blah – then you will have some fails along the way.  My work friends don’t mind so much hahaha 🙂

I look forward to continuing this adventure – despite if it takes off and soars  – or if it just hovers.  The best part of any creation is truly enjoying it.

There are long hours, and there are some nights to where I sit up researching and brainstorming – but at the end of the day – when it all comes together, it is beauty.  It is beauty that I created out of love for you to enjoy.

So happy week y’all.

Love and be loved my friends.

It’s a sweet life ❤

 

The Suga Woes

A little background about me and food, I love to create. It’s experimental for me.  Scientific.  Especially sugar.  A very universal and divine creation by God that has a wide range of capabilities including but not limited to making your thighs magically grow. Now listen this isn’t a sugar bashing blog post, I mean after all I am an amateur baker, so don’t get it twisted, I respect sugar and it’s place in the kitchen.  However; I have taken it out of my day-to-day life, and use it as intended, as a treat, and on occasion only.  Now that sounds easy, yeah maybe if you aren’t from the south – where the preferred drinks are sweet tea, and sugary milk coffee.  Now I make some of the best sweet tea in Pasco County.  My Nannie had them sweet southern cooking skills, we know how to make a 2 cup sugar strong sweet tea that is the only thing that saves you from the hot Florida sun on a summer day when you’re doing yard work.  Yea I know about that life.

Now like I said in my last blog post I was going to go into what I did differently.  Well one of my friends was doing the Atkins diet and I kept hearing rumors about the keto diet.  Well, really they are about the same diet.  When first considering it – I was like ugh this diet won’t work – lots of grease, lots of heavy protein – and with my gastroparesis – I just didn’t think the diet would be for me.  Well still thinking about doing some of the things from the diet – I started really considering the giving up the sugar.  I was reading so many reports about sugar and what it does chemically to the body.  So I figured what the hell – what do I have to lose?  It is the one thing that I hadn’t taken out of my diet, the sugar in my drinks.

So in November I started trading out my coffee with stevia.  Wasn’t bad – and I also liked the flavor ideas with the heavy whipping cream – although I never did the butter thing in the coffee – I just couldn’t.  I mean it’s supposed to be wonderful – it’s just I can’t get past the idea of drinking butter, although I love the stuff.  Anyways.  I was noticing that by not waking up and injecting my body with cane sugar – but with stevia, some of my cravings had died off.  I wasn’t craving the candy bowl at work as much – and was more so craving water over tea.  I also noticed something else – the first week I dropped 4 pounds – and all I did was give up sugar in my coffee.

Well come January 1rst – and clearly having a midlife crisis since I now have an empty nest – I really started kicking the research into over drive.  I researched how keto was utilized in so many different treatments and how people were feeling.  So I decided to give full keto a try.  I kind of still don’t eat a lot of red meats – because they are heavy on my gut – but I do eat a ton of chicken.  The biggest struggle – my dam sweet tea.  I was a gallon solo a day drinker during the summer.  Don’t set there and judge me unless you dined at my table and had some cause you don’t know – better ask some body hahaha. Here’s the thing though – the definition of chaos is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting  different result.  I analyzed my habits.  Tracked my food intake on myfitness pal cause it’s free – and if you aren’t tracking – and trying to lose weight – you are at a complete disadvantage and you’re probably making it harder than it needs to be – and most of the time some minor adjustments to your diet could yield major changes and results.  Every body is different – therefore every diet should be catered for you and your lifestyle.  I recommend a nutritionist if you can afford one – but if you can’t that is the best place to start.  And why do a crash diet?  Like make trade offs one by one?  Why torture yourself? I monitored my food intake, started just trading off things. I am on a low carb high fat diet, but did it gradually, and still continue to modify because routines get modified, so your diet needs to be adjusted.  For the first few months on keto – I did no physical exercise what so ever – at all.  It really is a great diet, single-handed.  After you get past the first two month are so, you really get into the swing of things – you just have to stick with it and trust the process, and remember to not let one day ruin your attempt – just jump back on.  You also really need to listen to your body.  Notice the way you feel and remember that if you are doing the keto diet – you really need to research it, cause I hear a lot of y’all talking about you stayed at 20 carbs a day – for like 3 months – that is NOT the meal plan and you should be cycling  – but I mean you live your best life hahaha.  Do what you want.  When I start feeling worn down – I know a higher carb day is in order.  Just remember that this shouldn’t be done until you gain control over the diet – again, for me that was around the end of month two.  The diet must be followed on point in order for it to be the most effective.  Research, buy a book, and really give the process a chance if that is the route you are going.  For some reason keto just had this effect  over me.  I know how I feel when I stick to it, and I know how I feel when I don’t and really it’s a huge difference.  Keto, more than any other diet helped me balance my plate a little better.  I still eat breads, but like 1 week a month, and generally some type of Arnold Bread – because I find they taste the best – and also have fewer carbs than the rest of the breads.

If you get into the habit of saying meats, cheeses, healthy fats, vegetables, you will remember the things that you can eat.

There is a lot that I have learned along the way – like did you know the harder the cheese – the lower the carbs?  In example, extra sharp white cheddar is a little better for you than a softer cheese like a colby?  See little tradeoffs to lower the amount of your daily carbs goes a long way.

That20180916_161631 is where I began.

In the next episode I’ll talk about how I got off my fat ass and got to working out and how I have managed to clock in over 200 KM the last two months, but also how that freaked up my diet for a minute.

 

P.S.

For those of you that like videos you should check out my youtube channel

 

My Fat Flappers Went Flapping

I am sitting out back on my porch after uploading a lyric video blah blah blah, anyways – I caught a glimpse of my flabby arms in the video.  I’ll be completely honest at first I was going to delete and redo, but then I was like hell nah – it took like 5 times starting and stopping cause of my playful pups, like I am NOT doing this again hahahaha.  BTW side note, I give props to people who do videos, Idk if I’m just lazy or very unfamiliar with how to do all this stuff, or hell if I’m even doing it right. The shit is hard, and yall be looking good and I look fresh out Zephyrhills.  Makes sense considering that is where I am from. Y’all Zephyrhellians don’t be coming at me either – y’all know exacty what I am talking about – tank top and messy bun wearing asses. Hahaha – including me. Anyways, back to these here arms of mine.  Although not completely comfortable in them quite yet – I know I worked hard for these bitches. Like hard.

What I find crazy though – is my obsession with my arms didn’t come until AFTER I started losing weight.  To be honest – my fatter arms looked better in some aspects – because at least they were a firm fat if that makes sense.  Now I got these things that be making noises at 4:30 in the dam morning when I am jogging. Yeah – that is cute – but like I run at 4:30 in the morning – most of this area in sleep mode so flap on flappers.  

And you know something – most of what I have been told by doctors and fitness experts?  That really – you can’t do nothing about it unless you have surgery. Yeah – cause those always played out great for me (if you don’t get that reference you can find it in my previous post about thinning hair).

So ya know what – I’m gonna embrace it – cause these arms – I am grateful for – cause they work hard – whether it holding onto a combined weight of around 100+ pounds of tugging pups in the morning or typing out these words at 120 wpm – they working hard to look that way – high five fatty flaps!

20180926_064637

Fat and Fab My 200LB Loss

Screenshot_2018-09-18-22-06-14-120180907_163740There’s so much to discuss and yet, just like always I never know where to begin.  I would like to touch base on my fitness adventures, weight loss, and being fat.

So if you are following me on Instagram, Twitter, Tumbler, Youtube, Facebook then you know that I used to be a LOT bigger.  423 pounds to be exact (current weight is 201.6).  I look through my feed, and I see all these amazing people who went with guns blazing and lost their weight all in a consecutive manner.  I didn’t.  I can’t tell you how many times I would lose the same weight over and over and over.

Let’s go back to the begining.  2010.  The year I had lap-band surgery.  It went great – the first year OMG the weight just dropped off.  Now keep in mind, I also didn’t eat foods for roughly around 6 months.  The pre and post-diet for the surgery had me drinking shakes from HMR (available at the bariatrics center of most hospitals).  I didn’t mind the shakes, and to be honest – I preferred those over ALL the other shakes I had ever tried. I worked out – followed my diet and did all I was supposed to do.  The thing I had realized – much after it was too late, that if I would have had more self-control over what I put in my mouth, then the surgery wouldn’t have been needed.  Now of course, I say that now.

Now that I have gastroparesis, which we will get into more later.  A year after the installation of my lapband – I had to have a hysterectomy followed by having to have the lap-band itself removed.

Now here is some real shit.  The hysterectomy – which wasn’t really optional included the removal of those little girls that cause misery each month.  Now that sounds great.  31 and no more periods.  Hahahahaha – DID YOU FKNG KNOW THAT WITHOUT THAT LITTLE PAINS IN THE ASS that you no longer produce hormones. Yea – like I get it – they are hormone producers – but did you know that they affect your weight????  I sure the hell didn’t.  I mean I got the basics.  Like I know what ovaries do, and all that – but never imagined that they played a significant role in weight loss and/ or weight gain.

Guess when you find this out?  After those girls are gone because you wake up in the hospital 40 pounds heavier.  According to the doctors – this was just fluid, and surgical weight gain from swelling, etc.  They were full of crap – cause that weight never went anywhere!

I am not joking either.  I went into the hospital at 250 pounds, after losing a whole person, and came out 40 pounds heavier.  I was devastated.  Not only did I lose any chance of giving birth to a child, ever again, but after a year of busting ass in the gym – in the matter of days – all the work I had put forth has been ravaged by a medical condition.  40 pounds compared to what I had loss didn’t seem so bad – but you see – the smaller you get – the harder it is to lose, and a 40 pound increase is  significant. Do you know how hard it is to loose 40 pounds?  Do you know how many Reese Cups I turned down?  How many mornings I would get up at 3 a.m. to hit the gym? That 40 pounds was a setback I wasn’t mentally prepared for.  So, once I recovered from being filleted like a fish, from side to side, and put on an additional 20 pounds from shoving pizza and donuts down my mouth to deal with the fact that I just lost my baby maker and set myself back even further,  I decided to hit the gym.  It took some time before I had realized that the hysterectomy did so much more to my body – that I wouldn’t understand for years to come.

I hit the gym for hours, diet restrictions on point.  Took everything I had learned from the classes at the hospital and continued down my journey, determined that this was not going to be my life.  I wanted better days.  I wanted to wake up and not be in pain.  I wanted to go clothes shopping with my daughter and actually enjoy it, instead of rushing her out of stores because I was so ashamed of myself.  So many wasted shopping trips, and I know, as a mother it was always such a disappointment for my kid.  I mean what women doesn’t enjoy clothes shopping with her princess??  Well I didn’t.  Not only did we not really have the money – but even when we did – I never wanted to play dress up – and try on outfits for hours.  It just did something emotionally to me, and I know my  kid was the one that paid the price.  She LOOOVVESS shopping, even if she didn’t get to buy anything.  Just the dress up and enjoy the day together, you know like in the movies.  I wanted to give it to her.  I wanted to laugh and enjoy playing dress up at shops that we could never afford anyways lol.  I just couldn’t.  All the things I know she loved, but things that just made me sick to even try. You know what is in dressing rooms?  This full body reflective shit that shows you exactly how big you are.  You know what I am talking a about! MIRRORS.  Mirrors always made me sad on the inside, even though I “had a pretty face”.  BTW STOP SAYING THAT TO FAT PEOPLE WE FKNG HATE IT

So, some time goes by and all the sudden I start to have some pretty serious stomach issues.  They deflated my lap-band in the assumption that it was too tight.

Well a week had went by – and all the sudden – I wasn’t able to drink, eat, and my stomach was distended far enough out to where the intake nurse at the hospital asked if I was in labor when arriving to the hospital.  YEA bih – immaculate conception with what apparently was a water baby.  Found out I had developed gastroparesis.  Oh YAY another medical condition that directly relates to how you lose weight – how you eat, etc. So now, not only do I not have my precious little hormones, but now my stomach doesn’t work????? WHAT THE BLOODY H***

So fanfreakingtastic

Now, most people would assume that weight loss goes hand in hand with gastroparesis – but you wouldn’t be more wrong.  You see healthy, fibrous foods legitimately tear my stomach to shreds.  You know what doesn’t??? PASTA AND BREADS.  Like always pasta and breads are right there to carry me through.  Talk about a back step into unhealthy habits.  Oh yea – these shoes are comfy, let me lace these bitches up and take pasta on a whole new adventure.

Oh don’t set there and judge me – we ALL know how easy it is to step back into unhealthy habits, especially when every attempt at the goal was being shut down.   I mean a 40lb set back, followed with BTW your stomach don’t work anymore. Great thanks!

I gave up.  I really did.  Maybe I was just meant to be a fabulous 300 pound hefty.  (I was a least doing what I could to stay under 300 pounds, still happy I was no longer at 423)

I mean I worked out – stayed active – but the scale just never went below 250. It was like I was destined to be a fatass my entire life.  And really, was that so bad?  I mean why should I have to lack sleep, feel hungry, and unsatisfied no matter which way I turned.  At least with being accepting of my body – I wouldn’t pressure myself so much and I could actually enjoy the foods I was eating.

The thing is – the misery never leaves.  Even when you accept yourself – if you aren’t happy with yourself – internally – then it will eventually take over your soul until you do something about it.

I wasn’t happy.  I HATED grocery shopping, clothes shopping, going to restruarants, anything that involved food, or body things.  I was ashamed of my body.  I felt like I looked lazy – even though I was always so active. Even though most people didn’t even know I existed, in the back of my mind I just felt like everyone was staring at me.  What I had become.

There is a part of the story that you are missing – my child is an adult now, who at the time was in her teens.  I raised a body positive daughter – who always believed I was beautiful – and like mean it.  She would snap on any one who made comments or said anything negative.  She would constantly tell me I was beautiful, no matter my size – and you can tell she just meant it.  My daughter is absolutely beautiful. I always boosted her ego – cause the world – it can be mean – so I built her up at home – so that no matter what was said to her throughout the day – she knew she was so much more – because her momma said so – but the beautiful thing is – she recited that to me – and that is where my real transformation began.

I battled back and forth, tettering my weight between 250 and 300 till November of last year.  There are quite a few years there.  Six years of falling off of diet regimens, excercise routines consistently cause God nothing was changing.  I would loose 10- 15 pounds and dead stop.  Increasing workouts – reducing calories, and yet still wouldn’t loose anymore than what was probably water weight.  Well after weeks into it, and you don’t see results, your like f*** this, it isn’t worth it.  After a while you really begin to think this is what my life is destined to be.  I mean there was so much greatness, in regards to my daughter, but internally I was battling a self image issue that was tearing my soul apart.

Six years I tried, failed, tried, accepted, tried, failed.  I grew tired of trying anymore.  It got me thinking to.  I was failing because I gave up to easily.  I never stuck with it.  Never even really give the diets a real fighting chance, cause at the end of the day – that cookie you snuck in killed 20 minutes of stair climbing that almost put you on the ground.  Self destructive behavior – and blaming everything but myself on it.  Don’t act like you never ate a kitkat late at night cause you hangry, then turn around and be mad at the scale like what the hell little no moving b****.

The thing is, the older my daughter got – more of the things I instilled in her were starting to surface.  What is the one thing we preach to our children?  Don’t give up!  So what the hell am I doing over here giving up so much, especially when she suffers the most out of this ordeal.  She was the one that I would carry into Lifestyle fitness, curled up in a blanket so she could finish getting her rest before I rushed her to school after my workout.  Yea, your kids are there with you – seeing the struggle  – seeing the pain – and also seeing you give up because it becomes to hard.  I needed to practice what I was preaching – and do what I set out to do so many years ago, after all, my daughter, a beautiful woman, believes in me and I intend to prove to her that when you put foot to ass you can change, you can become what you what to be.  I am not my weight.

I will not settle.  I will not stop.  I will prove to her that when you put your mind to something – and work hard – you will achieve your goals.

 

Follow for my next blog post to see what I have done differently to finally get where I am now, and how this year has been different than all other years.

 

Dudes be like nah it wasn’t me

I will never understand why people lie after they been busted?  Like what are doing with your life to where you have to be so fake about everything – people don’t even know who you are if you constantly hiding behind lies.
I will confuse you with the variety of ish I will be posting about.  While like all creative souls – we may have different creative things we enjoy to do.  Growing up my brother – he played a guitar and sang and to be honest – he has quite the voice.  Well I do not have the voice for that – and I was the odd ball out listening to Snoop Dawg and Eminem’s tracks, and I’m quite weird.  I mean how many single momma, data loving, baking, blogging rapper writer people do you see?  Hahaha – I mean I am not a Nikki or a Cardi – more of a Lardi geared more toward relationships and my male hating behavior.  Not all men.  Just you know the ones I know hahahaha.
The link to the video is below, please check it out.  You will also find some adorable videos of Marley and me 🙂
U think im always snooping
But really its when ur lip start drooping
A bitch like me ain’t dumb
I can find out what u doing with my thumb
Boy try to go get you some
I can tell what u doing
Without even moving
Cause ya tell on yaself
Get ur shit off my shelf
Every time u open ur mouth u lying
So I don’t even know why u trying
I left your ass with a smile
Cause ur ass was always in denial
Got me feeling like we in a trial
Got me feeling like a prosecutor
Got all these bitches on the computer
U think I’m out here running game
But that shit lame
I’m out working
Ain’t doing no dam twerking
You should have got to jerking
Wtf were you thinking
Cause I wasn’t Blinking
You don’t think that same truck done drove by
Why u even gotta lie
Boy bye

The Dirty Hair Diaries

I know how gross a woman that doesn’t wash her hair but once every 7 to 8 days!! Hahaha – that was my first thought too when I came across an article while researching thinning hair.

Yep, I said thinning hair.  You are probably thinking to yourself dam, she only 37 wth???

Well if you have read the blog about the surgeries I had undergone a few years ago – then you know I had a full abdominal hysterectomy.  That sent me into menopause.  YES MENOPAUSE.  I was just getting into my early 30s when what didn’t seem so bad (no period) turned out to have several, very noticeable, reprocussions but again – the surgery wasn’t optional, so I guess this over the alternative was still a win.  So what the hell does menopause have to do with hair?  Well, apparently makes your dam hair thin out – to make you feel even older than you already feel because well sometimes life just can have it’s way with us because that’s just life.  You deal and figure out ways to prevent or fix the issues that show up.  Our bodies of ever-changing vessels, that is not the same one second to the next.

So here comes the research and configuration of the plan of attack cause I am NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE, NOT YET.  I mean I know it is inevitable and sometimes it gets taken for medical reasons – and I know it grows back – blah blah blah.  Here is the thing – my hair was the one part of my body that I took pride in.  Mainly because it was the one part of my body that I wasn’t miserable with.  I took pride in it – but I was always rough with my hair.  Being in sports, and growing up with Agua Net and curling irons, well yea burn baby burn.  Once I had become an adult – I wasn’t awful to my hair – but most of the time it was up in a tight bun.  As a mother, I was running around between work, school, and kid, no time for hair care, other than the constant washing it.

I would also like to mention that not all hair products are created equal.  I grew up washing my hair with Dawn, and Sauve.  The Dawn for when we ran out of Sauve hahahaha.  Hey even as an adult – I have never been shy to stock up with some Sauve.  You gotta do what you gotta do to make it and some months it’s Pantene and some its Sauve. I am NOT talking about Sauve professionals either hahaha. Balance people, and that was always better than when we did without. Single momma y’all so be judgy all you want cause at the end of the day I know what a blessing is and so does my child.

I am not going to go into which product is better than which – cause that isn’t what this post is about.  Just pay attention to what is in your shampoo and conditioner – and with what I am about to tell you – if you follow  you will save money in both, so maybe you can spring to spend a little more since you will be using less.  Everyone’s hair is different, so what worked for me, may not work for you.  Although, I have found that it’s working for the women around me.  When my daughter lived with me, she is now an adult and living on her own, we could easily go through a bottle of each a week.  We both have long hair – and we are active – so we would wash our hair just about every day or every other day, but I would never make it past day 2 cause my hair would be so greasy.  That is of course a great reminder that your hair is gross and needs to be washed.  I have fine hair, and as people with fine hair know – looks like we poured baby oil on the top of our scalps on that 3rd day.  And plus like I live in Florida.  You don’t walk outside without being covered in sweat – so like ya kind of need to wash your hair every day, OR DO YOU?

So back to the thinning mane of mine.  So one day, I am picking up my loving daughter from her father’s.  A man I married at 18, he was 17, divorced 2 years into the marriage.  We have a weird relationship.  When our relationship ended, it ended, we never looked back.  We both moved on, and all that.  When we get around each other though – we kind of are mean to each other but playful.  Always bluntly honest.  I will call him Shrek and he will poke fun of my high forehead.  Yea I have a big forehead hahaha. I was raised with boys – so our demeanor with each other is just reminiscent of childhood friends and nothing more.  So anyways, I had to explain that because if I were tell that you that my baby daddy said I was going bald – you would be like wtf???? Hahaha – but he was right – and if anyone was going to say something it was always gonna be him or my kid – the only two people that would say it in a jokingly but loving manner.  Well now of course the whole ride home I’m checking the rear view every chance I get – running my fingers through my hair – obsessing – so I finally look over at Kate and ask her.  She says “Momma I didn’t want to be the one to tell you – but yea a little – like it isn’t bad – but it’s noticeable.”

Now here is the thing – I kind of already knew.  My hair had been shedding more than usual, noticeable in the shower.  Here is the thing though – I have long hair – down to my fat arse.  Losing hair in the shower – it is a normal process.  Like I shed hair just breathing so to see a little extra you figure it is just a stress related ordeal and you move on about your business until your baby and baby daddy wanna pop off the mouth with some true shit that got you all up in your feels about your life.

Well thank God this whole ordeal happened – because I went to the doctor and questioned him about my quick aging scalp.  The explanation was quick and to the point. I was post menopausal – this is your new life.

WHAT

UNACCEPTABLE

So I went home – bought some Rogaine and sat in the bathroom for 2 hours crying.  Then put my big girl panties on and started doing some research.  I will be straight forward – Rogaine works, but it takes months.  I didn’t like how it left my hair feeling, and I am a constant hair toucher, so I used it for a while off and on – which I am sure if you use as directed – works even better cause I was off and on with that more than my ex – and that was quite frequent hahhahaha.

Well I had went and got my hair trimmed at Walmart in Land O Lakes.  Yea – judge IT IDC – Wal-mart got the goods. Single mom’s got to do in all in one trip.  Cash the check, get them groceries, grab that dog food, get those school supplies, pick up some shoes, get that hair cut, grab you some Subway, get your kid’s eyes checked.  And all you gotta do – throw the kid in the cart and go.

So here we are – and I am asking for a very specific 1/2 inch no more, and the hair dresser – asks me “do you wear your hair that tight all the time, did you know that is bad for your scalp?” Well no, no I fkng didn’t.  Great.  So not only is my body playing against me – but I am playing against it.  If you live in Florida you would understand that it is hard to have long hair on your back, especially when it is sticking to the sweat on your love handles when your shirt lifts up. Most of the time, women with long hair only take it down when indoors for the night.

So this leads to a deep dive into my research project – looking high and low for all the dumb shit I am doing to my hair.  One of the biggest things – WASHING IT TOO MUCH.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT – SO HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT WORK IN FLORIDA, AND WITH MY LIFESTYLE?

I AIN’T WALKING AROUND WITH NO NASTY SMELLY HAIR.

Well I came across a few articles that dicussed a few different things that I tried.  A lot of them I just couldn’t keep up with.  There wasn’t enough “cleansing” involved for someone like me who works out most days.  Well I finally came across an article about a gradual wash decrease.  So I started with that, and incorporated a few other things.  Now gradual increase was a process and defintely something you have to get used to.  It was a process that took almost 2 months.  Often because I would dead stop.  The process is quite simple.  Just stop washing it for an extra day each week.  So if you normally wash every day – you move to every other day.  Then every 3 days, then every 4, etc.  Well I finally found a schedule that works pretty well for me.  And my hair is quite thicker.  Now I have added some product – but you use very minimal amounts – and really you can use some alternatives which I will go over.  I will go over a typical 7 day schedule with you.  Again – this works for me, it won’t work for every one – but if you can train your hair to wash minimally – you will start seeing the health benefits in your hair.

screenshot_2018-09-01-18-39-26-1

Monday morning:  Full wash – shampoo/conditioner (I alternate shampoos – but I get them all from WallyWorld y’all – just get what works for you)

Tuesday – NADA

Wednesday – NYC Primer (it is just a spritz, so it is quick and smells good, think of it like a perfume for your hair, I got a sample free from Ipsy and fell in love)

Thursday – dry shampoo at top BEFORE workout, hair mask on tips before shower.  Rinse both out in shower.

Friday – NYC Primer

Saturday – water wash, and condition tips.  I work in the yard on Saturdays, my hair gets dirt, grass, etc all up in it.  A water wash is simply just that – rinse thoroughly with warm water and really work to clean the hair out – just rinse some conditioner through the ends.

Sunday – NADA

My hair is much thicker, and stronger.  My ends are healthier.

A few other things I stopped.

Brushing hair while wet.

Over-brushing

I leave my hair down as much as possible – and use clips when possible. I make every attempt to avoid tight buns, make em loose ladies.

This worked for me, not saying it will work for you too.  I just kind of figure all those oils I was washing out – my hair needed.

By the way – when you hair is in the “dirty stage” it is easier to style and curl.

 

screenshot_2018-09-01-18-56-19-1

 

 

 

Fancy Bread Recipe The Carb Catering Tales

20180923_004006

Oh no, it is the horrible carb loaded bad boy BREAD hahahaha.  I know, I know – I can hear you ask yourself – but she is on modified keto, what is she doing with this delicate looking delight?  Well because not everyone is on keto, and because it’s important for a wide range of palettes, plus; BALANCE people.  I have shared and I will not lie, I do; from time to time have carbs in my diet.  Is it the norm?  Of course not; diets work best when you actually follow them, but I am in this long term, and to look at someone and say that I will never put a slice of bread or a bowl of pasta in my belly from time to time, would just be a bold faced lie.  I have control over that though, I have control over what is on plate.  My diet is a lifestyle.  Breads, carbs, sugars, they are treats now, and not a part of my daily diet, and that is how I have balanced my diet.

20180923_003945

This is your typical cuban bread from Walmart – for I think 2.00.  The rest is stuff I had in the fridge.  This is the bread we would often make with spaghetti or lasagna or any of those other carb filled friends.

The thing is this is more of a technique and tweaking than anything else.  Now you could easily just throw some butter and cheese on top of the bread – but then where is the fun in trying new things? Plus, in my experience, once you have this bread – you really won’t want it any other way.

Things you will need:

1 loaf of cuban bread

1tbsp of heavy whipping cream

4 tbsp of unsalted sweet cream butter

1 cup of shredded sharp white cheddar

1/4 cup of shredded sharp cheddar (yellow)

1 tsp (or more depending on taste) of garlic salt

dash of parsley

You can adjust the recipe as you prefer to taste.  The first step I generally do before I start cooking the rest of the meal.  You will mix the garlic, white cheddar cheese, heavy whipping cream, butter on the stove over medium high heat – just long enough for everything to melt.  This shouldn’t take too long, just stirring and mixing until well combined and melted together.  Take off stove, pour into a covered dish and place into fridge.

Great now you made yourself some cheese butter!

I know simple right – a 5 minute little thing that turns an okkaayyy garlic bread into a satisfying and seductive delight that is slightly addictive.

When you are ready to toast the bread.

Now that the cheese butter is solid and can be scooped out like butter – apply to the top of the cuban bread.  I generally just scoop out about 1 tbsp in even sections, and coat – then go back over to add any remaining.  You can decide how much coverage – I like it messy, so I scoop mountains.  Don’t judge me, if I am going to ingest carbs – I am gonna have them how I want them hahahaha.

Here is another preference point, I like a soft centered bread with a crunchy and cheesy top.  I only top broil on high heat.  You can decide what you want to do here.  If you like a soft top and crunchy bottom, baking at 400 will get you there. So really at this step – decide where you want the crunch – and go with the setting on the stove that will get you to your desired crunch, and preheat.  And if you like crunch on both – then run your oven at 400 for the first 7-10 minutes, then broil on high for 5-7 minutes.

Put your cheesy hot mess in the oven.  And cook until the cheese starts to bubble.  I know wth??? Right at the best part??? I know I know.  But remember that 1/4 of sharp yellow cheddar?  Yea – more cheese.  Take your bread that is just a few minutes away from being done, and sprinkle the yellow cheese over the white mixture.  Just lightly coated.  Stick it back in the oven till you get the top how you prefer.  Generally no more than 10-15 minutes total.

20180923_004125

 

Sprinkle the tops with some parsley and serve on up.

 

Your family will thank you.

 

Happy Carb Catering Day!

 

P.S.  Am I the only one that loves the burnt cheese slide off from oven baked foods?  Cause I am about that life!

%d bloggers like this: