It’s almost 4:30 in the morning and I’m just sitting here wondering what this future really has in store. My daughter has chosen to stay in Florida. And I’m sitting here like well dam. The security deposit is paid, the wheels have already started to turn, and like let’s be honest, I’m a grown ass woman, I can’t just bring me and my two mutts just to wherever, I have to still have some where to live. Plus, what if she needs some where to go? I still have to have a home for my family.
I’ve already received some kick back about leaving the state when most of my family is here.
Living in different locations is actually quite common. Never would I ever want to be even more than 2 miles from my daughter, but more than 200? No, of course not. This decision wasn’t made alone. It was made as a group. But it’s a difficult decision. I know part of it, she is scared.
The other confliction I’m having is that I’m still excited to go. Sad she is not coming and I’m terrified that finances, something all that have read my blog, know is an issue, might keep us from visiting each other as often as I would like. I mean dam we had to create a GoFundMe for the move. I’m hopeful things will turn around drastically.
I’m scared to leave my baby here without me, but she knows I’m just a few hours away. Plus, I have a feeling, this is the change that will bring change to my family, even if it has to be done from another state.
I had my final interview and it went great. In the back of my mind though, I wish I could generate enough revenue between my music and my blog to be able to make this a job, but unfortunately, it’s like a hamster wheel. I have bills, so I have to work, so that prevents me from really being able to devote too much time to my creative channels, but that is like most of us. One day though, I will make it happen.
At this moment I’m incredibly blessed that this bassist beat maker has made his way into my life.
We have dropped a few tracks together
The first one :
Listen to Blah Blah Blacksheep by Momma Rapper on #SoundCloud
And our latest one, which is now streaming every where 🙏
Hey, I get less than a penny a play, but it’s more than I had yesterday 😂
I have to say, he has really been great. Dealing with someone with half of my personalities is a lot, and he deals with them all, happily too 🤗, which does have me concerned about his own mental health 🙃🙃😂😂😂
He is incredibly supportive, let’s me be me. I stay incredibly devoted to him. I love how he loves me. The move has been stressful, and here he comes, just to hold me while it rains.
I’m unsure of what the future holds, but I pray that distance from my baby is a very temporary thing, but also hope she follows her own path. Till next time 🙃🙃🙃
I Smell Cakes and Candy 