I figured since my phone was dead I would actually get some writing done. I know that I have been bombarding my blog with Youtube and SoundCloud – and I actually do feel kind of bad about that. I haven’t been writing as much as I have been rapping, singing and doing my own music promos. I have been doing my best to try to find a happy median with it all. It is hard. I still work full time – still have a house to run – and the limitations I have been facing with my phone and lack of cable/internet at home has been surfacing. Things I do plan on changing but when you are on a limited budget certain non-essential items are just not a priority. I don’t consider cable or internet really a necessity – despite the fact that I run 9 different outlets, not including making music, from a MetroPcs phone and their unlimited service that includes hotspot.
I will no longer mold and bend to create the perfect spouse. I come now as is. And I won’t put up with negativity when it comes to my artistic side. I had a tendency to lay my desires in the artistic field to rest while in relationships – mainly because of negative feedback – but now – I watch and listen for that in the very beginning. My music is different – my art is different – I need someone that will be supportive of that – and genuine about it – otherwise I don’t want them in my life. My art is my outlet – and it is the only way for me to feel whole – and I am not just talking about the music – the cakes, the paintings – the crazy outfits – all of it.
Creating a happy life on my own has allowed me the chance to be happy – and accepting of myself. This has allowed me to understand what kind of relationship would actually make me happy – and some can say that I live in a fantasy world – well this world is better than accepting less than I deserve 🙂 we happy here – someone will eventually want to come along for the ride.